Postal Employee
Newman training for next bout.
Brash young
heavyweight Cosmo “The Assman” Kramer.
David “8 ball”
Putty
and "Spongeworthy" Benes
Signing on with us.
Vandelay’s best
Light-Heavyweight
Izzy Mandelbaum
Beavis "This Video Sucks" Sucker admiring his physique before a fight.
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Vandelay Industries
About our Gym
Vandelay Industries, a corporate giant in the
latex-manufacturing industry has decided to diversify. C.E.O. and Founder, Art Vandelay has
decided to throw his hat into the world of Professional Boxing. Using surplus capital from fiscal year
1999-2000, Mr. Vandelay’s decision came down to a choice between Boxing and
Greyhound Racing. Since most boxers
are cleaner than dogs, and toilet-trained as well, He decided to save money
that would have gone towards rolled up newspapers and Lysol, and chose
boxing. Thus, Vandelay Industries Gym
was created.
Our Staff
Mr. Vandelay expects nothing but the best from those who
work under his corporate flag. For
this reason, he brought in Mr. Miyagi all the way from the tiny little island
of Okinawa to serve as his trainer.
Although Miyagi has never trained a boxer, we feel that his experience
will enable our fighters to slip that little chop to the throat in there,
without being detected by the referee.
Mr Vandelay also hired as his Manager/Promoter Mr. Kevin Johnson
(that’s me by the way) from Winter Springs, Florida. No one really understands the reasoning
for this hire, but the rumor going around says that Johnson has compromising
pictures of Mr. Vandelay with an unspecified farm animal…..
Our Fighters
To serve as the first group of boxers for Vandelay
Industries, we brought in four of the most highly-motivated individuals we
could find. We started in the Amateur
ranks with Light-Heavyweight bruiser, Izzy Mandelbaum. He has clearly become the class of our
gym. To serve notice in the other
weight classes we have Heavyweight Cosmo “The Assman” Kramer, who promises to
be as entertaining as he is deadly.
In the Cruiserweight division we have David “8 ball” Putty, short on
words, but high on talent. Finally we
have Middleweight Postal Employee Newman who is the most clever and scheming
fighter in the business. More fighters
may eventually join the success of Vandelay Industries. For now, however, we start with the cream
of the crop!!!!!
NEWS OF NOTE
Been awhile since news has been updated here at Vandelay Industries..... After greasing the right palms and forming clandestine relationships, Art Vandelay was granted a position as Player Commissioner. This is the beginning of Vandelay's Palpatine like overthrow of TBG as we know it!!!!!! heheheh........ On the fighter front, Elaine "Spongeworthy" Benes is up to #6 in the Strawweight rankings at a 13 status, and Izzy Mandelbaum is currently ranked 16th in Light-Heavies, although Izzy may be in the twilight of his career. Postal Employee Newman has been the victim of laziness by trainer Mr. Miyagi, as he suffered a few recent losses to lack up Fight Plan updating, but he promises to bounce back!!!!!
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