I am a dull and simple lad
Cannot tell water from champagne
And I have never met the queen
And I wish I could have all that he has got
I wish I could be like David Watts

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And when I lie on my pillow at night
I dream I could fight like David Watts
Lead the school team to victory
And take my exams and pass the lot

(wish I could be)
Wish I could be like David Watts
(wish I could be)
Wish I could be like David Watts
(wish I could be)
Conduct my life like David Watts
(wish I could be)
I wish I could be like David Watts

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He is the head boy at the school
He is the captain of the team
He is so gay (!) and fancy free
And I wish all his money belonged to me
I wish I could be like David Watts

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And all the girls in the neighborhood
Try to go out with David Watts
They try their best but can't succeed
For he is of pure and noble breed

Wish I could be like
Wish I could be like
Wish I could be like

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(repeat)