"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
"I would not allow this boxer to breed."
"This boxer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
"When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
"This young man has delusions of adequacy."
"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them..."
"This boxer should go far-and the sooner he starts, the better."
"This boxer is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer...
"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching...
"A room temperature IQ...
"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together...
"A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus...
"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on...
"A prime candidate for natural deselection...
"Bright as Alaska in December...
"One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests...
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it...
"Fell out of the family tree...
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming...
"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it...
"He's so dense light bends around him...
"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate...
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week...
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change...
"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean...
"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm...
"One neuron short of a synapse...
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled...
"Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes...
"Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby...
"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead...