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Public Fight Report

(Featherweight) Army of Dorkness 5 defeated Big Boy Elite V by technical knockout (TKO) in round 5.

Match Wednesday, February 22, 2023

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 10 inches (147 centimeters) tall weighing in at 120 pounds (54 kilograms) is Big Boy Elite V!!

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 9 inches (145 centimeters) tall weighing in at 117 pounds (53 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 5!!

The referee for this bout will be Joe Cortez.

ROUND 1

Elite V clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 5 pounds Elite V with a series of glancing combinations to the temple. Elite V asks for time to wipe off the blood.
Dorkness 5 lands a vicious right uppercut and Elite V hurtles to the canvas!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT
Elite V struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
+Dorkness 5 wakes up the fans with a series of painful blows to the face! Elite V quickly recovers.
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+Dorkness 5 tags Elite V with a volley of vicious combinations to the head. Elite V hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
Dorkness 5 lands a mighty left haymaker and Elite V is knocked off his feet!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX
Elite V struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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-Dorkness 5 probes with a pair of left punches to the jaw, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 5 grazes Elite V with a jab to the nose.
+Elite V hits Dorkness 5 with a series of shots to the chin.
+Elite V clocks Dorkness 5 with a pair of glancing blows to the chin!!
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Dorkness 5 hits with a pair of wild shots to the head.
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+Dorkness 5 lands Elite V with a bite to the ear! Boo! Boo!
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The fighters circle.
+Elite V fires a volley of heavy punches to the chin.
Elite V lands a cruel haymaker and Dorkness 5 is knocked down!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT
Dorkness 5 struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Elite V clocks Dorkness 5 with a pair of stiff shots to the chin.
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+Elite V tosses a volley of shots to the face.
-Elite V attacks with a barrage of punches to the nose, but Dorkness 5 hides behind his gloves.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Big Boy Elite V landed 13 of 24 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 22 of 33 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 5 is winning the fight 10-9


Elite V doesn't even want to rest! He has minor cut above the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a bloody nose.

Dorkness 5 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 2

Elite V clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.

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+Dorkness 5 wakes up the fans with a flurry of powerful shots to the stomach.
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+Dorkness 5 slams Elite V with a series of hard combinations to the stomach!!
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+Elite V catches Dorkness 5 with a flurry of solid shots to the solar plexus.
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+Elite V jolts Dorkness 5 with a flurry of punches to the solar plexus.
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-Elite V throws a flurry of left blows to the stomach, but Dorkness 5 escapes.
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+Dorkness 5 jolts Elite V with a pair of combinations to the solar plexus.
Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Elite V attempts a volley of shots to the solar plexus, but goes wide.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Big Boy Elite V landed 10 of 23 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 18 of 23 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 5 is winning the fight 20-18


Elite V remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a bloody nose.

Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 3

Elite V clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Elite V probes with a barrage of left blows to the ribs, but Dorkness 5 steps aside and laughs.
Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.

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+Dorkness 5 throws a volley of combinations to the stomach.
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+Elite V tattoos Dorkness 5 with a barrage of wild shots to the solar plexus.
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-Dorkness 5 fires a series of left combinations to the solar plexus, but Elite V stays away from it.
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+Dorkness 5 strikes with a series of stinging punches to the ribs.
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 5 connects with a pair of mean punches to the chest.
+Elite V hits with a barrage of commanding blows to the solar plexus.
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Elite V attacks with a flurry of shots to the chest, but Dorkness 5 ties him up.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Big Boy Elite V landed 10 of 23 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 12 of 25 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 5 is winning the fight 30-27


Elite V remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a bloody nose.

Dorkness 5 grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.



ROUND 4

Elite V clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

...
...
Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
-Elite V tries a pair of left blows to the solar plexus, but Dorkness 5 stays away from it.
+Elite V stuns Dorkness 5 with a flurry of punches to the ribs.
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+Dorkness 5 whacks Elite V with a off balance jab to the solar plexus. Elite V doesn't seem bothered.
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-Elite V fires a series of right punches to the chest, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
+Dorkness 5 slams Elite V with a series of vicious combinations to the solar plexus. Elite V gets mad!
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.

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+Dorkness 5 lands a barrage of vicious combinations to the chest.
Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.

+Elite V connects with a barrage of blows to the stomach.
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+Elite V hits with a series of punches to the stomach.
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+Elite V smashes Dorkness 5 with a pair of stinging shots to the chest.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Big Boy Elite V landed 14 of 33 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 15 of 23 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 5 is winning the fight 40-36


Elite V grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a bloody nose.

Dorkness 5 is obviously tired.



ROUND 5

Elite V clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

...
...
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Elite V probes with a flurry of right punches to the ribs, but is ineffective.
+Dorkness 5 hits Elite V with a flurry of glancing combinations to the chin.
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 5 lands a powerful jab to the eye. Elite V gets mad!
Dorkness 5 lands a brutal blow to the temple and Elite V's legs turn to jelly -- down he goes!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE
Elite V struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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-Elite V paws a uppercut to the ribs, but Dorkness 5 stays away from it.
+Elite V pokes Dorkness 5 with a pair of heavy blows to the ribs.
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-Elite V lunges with a pair of right shots to the ribs, but fails to score.
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-Dorkness 5 probes with a series of combinations to the temple, but Elite V backs out of it.
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+Elite V drills Dorkness 5 with a sweeping right to the stomach. Dorkness 5 falls against the ropes!
-Elite V attempts a hook to the solar plexus, but comes up empty.
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+Dorkness 5 tags Elite V with a pair of punches to the head.
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The fighters study each other.
+Dorkness 5 takes charge with a sweeping right to the nose.
-Dorkness 5 launches a pair of combinations to the jaw, but he's too slow.
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Dorkness 5 tries to attack, but Elite V hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Elite V hurts Dorkness 5 with a volley of loud punches to the ribs! Dorkness 5 sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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BELL
Elite V is obviously tired. He has gash above the left eye. He has cut below the left eye. He has the right eye swollen shut. He has the left eye swollen shut. He has a bloody nose. He has a broken jaw.

Dorkness 5 is slowing down.

The doctor won't let Big Boy Elite V continue the fight! Army of Dorkness 5 wins by TKO!!





Judge Guimond had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 2: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9


Judge Leinbach had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 2: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9


Christy Martin had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 2: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9

Army of Dorkness 5 wins by a technical knockout!