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(Strawweight) Sugar Ray Cahn defeated Army of Dorkness 1 by unanimous decision: 116-112, 116-112, 116-112.

Match Monday, August 19, 2019

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 10 inches (178 centimeters) tall weighing in at 106 pounds (48 kilograms) is Sugar Ray Cahn!!

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 5 inches (135 centimeters) tall weighing in at 89 pounds (40 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 1!!

The referee for this bout will be Mitch Halpern.

ROUND 1

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 throws a jab to the head, but only hits air.
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+Sugar thumps Dorkness 1 with a flurry of light punches to the jaw.
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+Dorkness 1 pops Sugar with an elbow! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
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+Sugar staggers Dorkness 1 with a furious jab to the nose.
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+Sugar hits with a volley of punches to the head.
+Dorkness 1 stuns Sugar with a pair of wild punches to the temple.
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+Dorkness 1 hits Sugar with a series of glancing punches to the temple!
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+Sugar solidly lands a series of stiff punches to the jaw.
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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a barrage of right blows to the jaw, but only hits air.
+Sugar hits Dorkness 1 with a pair of punches to the eye.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 33 of 36 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 11 of 33 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 10-9


Sugar doesn't want to stop fighting!

Dorkness 1 doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Dorkness 1 tags Sugar with a volley of powerful punches to the ribs. Sugar sneers "Is that the best you can do?"
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-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a barrage of left blows to the ribs, but Sugar ducks just in time.
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+Sugar catches Dorkness 1 with a series of stiff blows to the stomach. Dorkness 1 sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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+Sugar hits with a series of punches to the solar plexus.
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+Sugar hurts Dorkness 1 with a flurry of loud punches to the solar plexus.
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-Dorkness 1 tries a series of combinations to the ribs, but comes up empty.
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+Sugar drills Dorkness 1 with a barrage of solid punches to the chest. Dorkness 1 seems wobbly!
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a pair of left combinations to the ribs, but misses completely.
+Sugar fires a pair of punches to the solar plexus.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 29 of 31 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 9 of 26 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 20-18


Sugar doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 3

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

-Dorkness 1 lunges with a flurry of punches to the chest, but fails to score.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a pair of left combinations to the ribs, but Sugar leaps aside.
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+Sugar attacks with a pair of wild punches to the stomach. Dorkness 1 doesn't seem bothered.
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-Sugar tries a volley of right punches to the solar plexus, but Dorkness 1 beats a hasty retreat.
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-Dorkness 1 launches a pair of left combinations to the ribs, but Sugar deftly avoits it.
+Sugar wakes up the fans with a series of heavy punches to the ribs.
+Sugar takes charge with a barrage of powerful punches to the stomach.
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+Dorkness 1 pounds Sugar with a pair of off balance punches to the stomach.
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+Sugar hurts Dorkness 1 with a pair of light punches to the ribs!! Dorkness 1 hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 27 of 32 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 7 of 23 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 30-27


Sugar doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 4

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 fires a volley of combinations to the solar plexus, but fails to score.
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+Sugar belts Dorkness 1 with a series of punches to the stomach. Dorkness 1 sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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-Dorkness 1 paws a series of left punches to the ribs, but loses his balance.
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-Dorkness 1 paws a left combination to the chest, but Sugar deftly avoits it.
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+Sugar fires a barrage of nice punches to the temple.
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+Sugar lands Dorkness 1 with an illegal kidney punch! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
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+Dorkness 1 annoys Sugar with a pair of nasty combinations to the ribs.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 6 of 23 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 39-37


Sugar doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 5

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar tosses a straight right to the stomach.
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+Dorkness 1 staggers Sugar with a volley of light combinations to the solar plexus!! Sugar gets mad!
+Sugar hits with a series of stinging punches to the chest!
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-Dorkness 1 charges with a right to the stomach, but misses completely.
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-Dorkness 1 launches a volley of combinations to the ribs, but he's too slow.
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-Dorkness 1 fires a series of punches to the ribs, but loses his balance.
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+Sugar throws a quick straight right to the ribs. Dorkness 1 hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 27 of 34 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 24 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 49-46


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 6

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a flurry of combinations to the ribs, but Sugar backs out of it.
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-Dorkness 1 paws a series of right punches to the ribs, but misses completely.
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+Dorkness 1 hurts Sugar with a flurry of wild punches to the stomach!!
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+Sugar tags Dorkness 1 with a volley of heavy punches to the temple.
-Dorkness 1 tries to land a series of left combinations to the stomach, but flails uselessly.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 7 of 26 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 58-56


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 7

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 tries to land a right right to the ribs, but Sugar ducks just in time.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a left jab to the ribs, but Sugar ties him up.
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+Sugar lands a series of furious blows to the chest.
-Sugar charges with a series of right punches to the solar plexus, but misses completely.
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+Sugar takes charge with a volley of punches to the ribs.
-Dorkness 1 probes with a volley of punches to the ribs, but Sugar ties him up.
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+Sugar pounds Dorkness 1 with a barrage of vicious punches to the solar plexus. Dorkness 1 gets mad!
+Sugar connects with a pair of punches to the stomach.
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+Dorkness 1 scores with a volley of punches to the ribs.
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+Sugar hits Dorkness 1 with a barrage of powerful punches to the ribs.
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+Dorkness 1 backs up Sugar with a barrage of nasty punches to the chest.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 28 of 31 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 9 of 25 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 68-65


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 8

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Dorkness 1 backs up Sugar with a pair of combinations to the solar plexus.
-Dorkness 1 tries to land a flurry of combinations to the ribs, but comes up empty.
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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a volley of left punches to the solar plexus, but Sugar stays away from it.
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+Sugar smashes Dorkness 1 with a barrage of punches to the nose.
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-Dorkness 1 throws a series of punches to the stomach, but goes wide.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 7 of 7 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 7 of 24 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 77-75


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 9

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar attacks with a volley of punches to the eye. Dorkness 1 sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a volley of right combinations to the ribs, but Sugar hides behind his gloves.
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-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a barrage of combinations to the stomach, but Sugar blocks.
-Sugar fires a volley of punches to the head, but misses.
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+Sugar nails Dorkness 1 with a barrage of punches to the face. Dorkness 1 backpedals to his own corner.
-Dorkness 1 paws a series of left combinations to the ribs, but Sugar hides behind his gloves.
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+Dorkness 1 clocks Sugar with a flurry of off balance combinations to the chest.
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+Sugar hits Dorkness 1 with a series of punches to the face.
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+Sugar lands a pair of light punches to the nose!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 25 of 32 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 9 of 25 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 87-84


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 10

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar hits with a volley of punches to the head. Dorkness 1 is hurt!
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-Sugar launches a pair of punches to the chin, but comes up empty.
-Dorkness 1 throws a roundhouse to the chest, but misses.
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+Sugar lands a volley of glancing punches to the temple.
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+Dorkness 1 jars Sugar with a series of glancing combinations to the solar plexus.
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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a jab to the stomach, but falls short.
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+Sugar smacks Dorkness 1 with a pair of solid combinations to the eye. Dorkness 1 ignores it.
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+Sugar punches Dorkness 1 with a straight right to the mouth. Dorkness 1 retreats to the far corner.
+Sugar nails Dorkness 1 with a volley of commanding punches to the chin.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 26 of 33 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 9 of 24 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 97-93


Sugar grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 11

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar fires a volley of vicious punches to the eye!!
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+Sugar wakes up the fans with a pair of mean combinations to the eye!!
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+Sugar drills Dorkness 1 with a flurry of punches to the temple.
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-Dorkness 1 paws a jab to the solar plexus, but he's too slow.
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-Dorkness 1 charges with a series of left punches to the solar plexus, but Sugar ducks just in time.
-Dorkness 1 lunges with a pair of right punches to the ribs, but he's too slow.
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-Sugar attacks with a barrage of punches to the mouth, but loses his balance.
+Dorkness 1 throws a flurry of nice combinations to the solar plexus.
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+Sugar rocks Dorkness 1 with a pair of punches to the mouth.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 27 of 34 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 24 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 107-102


Sugar grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 12

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 throws a series of left combinations to the eye, but flails uselessly.
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+Sugar grazes Dorkness 1 with a solid left to the face.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a barrage of right punches to the temple, but fails to score.
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+Dorkness 1 smashes Sugar with a commanding left to the nose. Sugar sneers "Is that the best you can do?"
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-Dorkness 1 launches a flurry of punches to the temple, but Sugar backs out of it.
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+Dorkness 1 hits with Sugar with an illegal rabbit punch! That was totally uncalled for!
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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a volley of punches to the face, but flails uselessly.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a roundhouse to the jaw, but misses.
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+Dorkness 1 stuns Sugar with a mean sweeping right to the head.

BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 9 of 40 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 116-112


Sugar grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 10: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 11: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 12: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9

Total Score: Sugar Ray Cahn 116-112


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 10: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 11: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 12: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9

Total Score: Sugar Ray Cahn 116-112


Christy Martin scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 10: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 11: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 12: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9

Total Score: Sugar Ray Cahn 116-112

Sugar Ray Cahn wins by decision!