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(Heavyweight) Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco defeated Crazyfucker by unanimous decision: 117-111, 118-112, 118-110.

Match Thursday, August 07, 2014

In this corner, standing 6 feet and 4 inches (193 centimeters) tall weighing in at 339 pounds (154 kilograms) is Crazyfucker!!

In this corner, standing 6 feet and 7 inches (201 centimeters) tall weighing in at 271 pounds (123 kilograms) is Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco!!

The referee for this bout will be Joe Cortez.

ROUND 1

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

+Pillow Hands hits with a flurry of strong punches to the mouth.
-Pillow Hands tries to land a left cross to the chest, but loses his balance.
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-Pillow Hands attacks with a pair of punches to the head, but Crazyfucker hides behind his gloves.
-Crazyfucker probes with a series of shots to the solar plexus, but Pillow Hands deftly avoits it.
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+Pillow Hands whacks Crazyfucker with a series of shots to the ribs.
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-Pillow Hands throws a flurry of right punches to the stomach, but Crazyfucker escapes.
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-Crazyfucker lashes out with a straight right to the nose, but he's too slow.
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+Pillow Hands throws a left to the chin. Crazyfucker is hurt!
-Pillow Hands lunges with a volley of blows to the mouth, but Crazyfucker covers himself well.
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-Crazyfucker probes with a barrage of left punches to the chest, but loses his balance.
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-Crazyfucker fires a barrage of shots to the nose, but Pillow Hands deftly avoits it.
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+Pillow Hands fires a volley of punches to the chest. Crazyfucker seems wobbly!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 23 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 23 of 39 punches.

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 10-9


Crazyfucker doesn't want to stop fighting!

Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

+Pillow Hands rocks Crazyfucker with a volley of vicious blows to the head.
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+Pillow Hands hurts Crazyfucker with a flurry of quick punches to the chin.
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-Pillow Hands throws a flurry of punches to the chin, but Crazyfucker stays away from it.
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-Pillow Hands launches a pair of shots to the nose, but fails to score.
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+Pillow Hands annoys Crazyfucker with a jab to the eye.
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-Crazyfucker tries a right cross to the face, but Pillow Hands steps aside and laughs.
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-Crazyfucker paws a pair of punches to the mouth, but Pillow Hands ties him up.
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-Crazyfucker tries to land a volley of right blows to the chin, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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+Pillow Hands backs up Crazyfucker with a mean left to the mouth.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 22 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 22 of 41 punches.

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 20-18


Crazyfucker doesn't want to stop fighting!

Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has a bloody nose. He has a bloody lip.



ROUND 3

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

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-Pillow Hands probes with a barrage of blows to the mouth, but misses.
-Pillow Hands attacks with a flurry of blows to the chin, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
-Crazyfucker attacks with a right jab to the chest, but flails uselessly.
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+Pillow Hands belts Crazyfucker with a flurry of punches to the mouth!
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+Pillow Hands punches Crazyfucker with a jab to the head. Crazyfucker asks for time to wipe off the blood.
-Pillow Hands lunges with a volley of left blows to the temple, but Crazyfucker stays away from it.
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-Crazyfucker throws a series of left blows to the eye, but comes up empty.
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+Pillow Hands strikes with a sweeping right to the stomach. Crazyfucker shakes his head to clear it.
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+Pillow Hands catches Crazyfucker with a volley of heavy punches to the head!! Crazyfucker hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
-Crazyfucker tries to land a barrage of punches to the chin, but is ineffective.
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-Crazyfucker attacks with a series of punches to the temple, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 25 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 22 of 40 punches.

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 30-27


Crazyfucker doesn't want to stop fighting!

Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has a bloody nose. He has a bloody lip.



ROUND 4

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

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-Crazyfucker throws a series of right shots to the stomach, but is ineffective.
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+Pillow Hands shakes Crazyfucker with a loud straight right to the jaw!
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+Pillow Hands backs up Crazyfucker with a pair of punches to the mouth.
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+Pillow Hands wallops Crazyfucker with a flurry of furious shots to the head.
-Crazyfucker throws a series of right punches to the solar plexus, but flails uselessly.
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-Pillow Hands tries a pair of punches to the mouth, but is ineffective.
+Pillow Hands jolts Crazyfucker with a flurry of punches to the nose.
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-Crazyfucker tries to land a flurry of blows to the chin, but he's too slow.
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+Pillow Hands hits with a series of shots to the solar plexus.
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-Pillow Hands lashes out with a volley of blows to the jaw, but Crazyfucker steps aside.
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-Pillow Hands probes with a pair of blows to the eye, but comes up empty.
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-Pillow Hands attempts a barrage of right blows to the eye, but loses his balance.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 25 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 21 of 38 punches.

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 40-36


Crazyfucker doesn't want to stop fighting!

Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has a fractured nose. He has a broken tooth.



ROUND 5

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

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-Crazyfucker tries a volley of left blows to the temple, but Pillow Hands takes it in the forearms.
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-Pillow Hands paws a flurry of punches to the head, but Crazyfucker ducks just in time.
-Crazyfucker attacks with a series of right punches to the jaw, but only hits air.
-Pillow Hands probes with a barrage of right shots to the chest, but Crazyfucker ties him up.
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-Crazyfucker lashes out with a uppercut to the eye, but fails to score.
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-Pillow Hands lunges with a volley of right punches to the chin, but fails to score.
+Pillow Hands hits with a pair of vicious shots to the temple!!
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-Pillow Hands paws a barrage of right punches to the eye, but Crazyfucker beats a hasty retreat.
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-Crazyfucker throws a right jab to the chin, but fails to score.
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+Pillow Hands thumps Crazyfucker with a flurry of blows to the nose!
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+Pillow Hands throws a barrage of wild punches to the jaw. Crazyfucker seems wobbly!
+Pillow Hands hits with a volley of furious shots to the stomach.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 25 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 21 of 38 punches.

Crazyfucker won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 49-46


Crazyfucker doesn't want to stop fighting!

Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has minor cut above the right eye. He has minor cut below the right eye. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken tooth.



ROUND 6

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

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-Crazyfucker throws a left hook to the jaw, but Pillow Hands stays away from it.
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+Pillow Hands staggers Crazyfucker with a flurry of heavy punches to the mouth.
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-Pillow Hands launches a pair of right punches to the head, but goes wide.
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+Pillow Hands backs up Crazyfucker with a commanding jab to the ribs.
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+Pillow Hands pummels Crazyfucker with a series of quick blows to the nose.
-Pillow Hands launches a barrage of shots to the solar plexus, but Crazyfucker hides behind his gloves.
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-Pillow Hands probes with a pair of right blows to the eye, but goes wide.
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-Crazyfucker paws a right right to the nose, but comes up empty.
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-Pillow Hands tries a volley of blows to the jaw, but Crazyfucker quickly backs away.
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-Crazyfucker throws a flurry of right punches to the eye, but Pillow Hands leaps aside.
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-Crazyfucker attempts a series of punches to the solar plexus, but Pillow Hands narrowly avoids it
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 22 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 22 of 38 punches.

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 59-55


Crazyfucker doesn't want to stop fighting!

Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has minor cut above the right eye. He has minor cut below the right eye. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken tooth.



ROUND 7

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

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-Pillow Hands lunges with a pair of right shots to the solar plexus, but flails uselessly.
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-Crazyfucker attacks with a right hook to the solar plexus, but Pillow Hands ducks.
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-Pillow Hands throws a right to the chin, but Crazyfucker blocks.
-Crazyfucker lashes out with a barrage of right punches to the temple, but Pillow Hands beats a hasty retreat.
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+Pillow Hands solidly lands a flurry of furious punches to the face!!
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+Pillow Hands hits with a pair of heavy punches to the face.
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-Crazyfucker lashes out with a pair of left blows to the face, but goes wide.
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+Pillow Hands hits with a volley of nice blows to the solar plexus.
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+Pillow Hands throws a volley of shots to the chest.
-Crazyfucker throws a uppercut to the jaw, but falls short.
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-Pillow Hands launches a left uppercut to the head, but he's too slow.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 24 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 18 of 39 punches.

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 69-64


Crazyfucker doesn't even want to rest!

Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has minor cut above the right eye. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has minor cut below the right eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken tooth.



ROUND 8

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

+Pillow Hands lands a roundhouse to the face. Crazyfucker seems wobbly!
+Pillow Hands hits with a nice right to the nose.
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-Pillow Hands throws a pair of shots to the face, but Crazyfucker steps aside and laughs.
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+Pillow Hands fires a jab to the ribs!! Crazyfucker grimaces in pain.
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-Crazyfucker launches a series of left punches to the eye, but Pillow Hands ducks.
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-Crazyfucker probes with a volley of punches to the solar plexus, but Pillow Hands steps aside.
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-Pillow Hands tries a volley of right shots to the mouth, but Crazyfucker narrowly avoids it
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-Crazyfucker paws a flurry of blows to the eye, but Pillow Hands ties him up.
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-Pillow Hands tries to land a barrage of blows to the head, but comes up empty.
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-Pillow Hands charges with a sweeping right to the solar plexus, but Crazyfucker quickly backs away.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 23 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 21 of 42 punches.

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 79-73


Crazyfucker doesn't even want to rest!

Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has minor cut above the right eye. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has cut below the right eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken tooth.



ROUND 9

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

-Pillow Hands probes with a pair of blows to the head, but Crazyfucker takes it in the forearms.
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-Pillow Hands attempts a flurry of punches to the face, but is ineffective.
-Pillow Hands fires a jab to the head, but Crazyfucker steps aside and laughs.
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+Pillow Hands tags Crazyfucker with a barrage of quick blows to the head.
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-Crazyfucker probes with a series of right shots to the mouth, but he's too slow.
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-Crazyfucker probes with a barrage of left shots to the mouth, but Pillow Hands steps aside and laughs.
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-Crazyfucker fires a flurry of punches to the face, but Pillow Hands hides behind his gloves.
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-Crazyfucker attempts a pair of blows to the eye, but misses completely.
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+Pillow Hands grazes Crazyfucker with a barrage of punches to the temple. Crazyfucker gets mad!
+Pillow Hands whacks Crazyfucker with a flurry of stiff punches to the solar plexus. Crazyfucker sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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+Pillow Hands annoys Crazyfucker with a hook to the chin.
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-Pillow Hands tries a pair of punches to the jaw, but misses completely.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 22 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 21 of 40 punches.

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 89-82


Crazyfucker doesn't even want to rest!

Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has minor cut above the right eye. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has cut below the right eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken tooth.



ROUND 10

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

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-Pillow Hands tries a volley of left punches to the jaw, but Crazyfucker leaps aside.
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+Pillow Hands rocks Crazyfucker with a painful uppercut to the temple.
-Pillow Hands paws a barrage of left punches to the head, but Crazyfucker takes it in the forearms.
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-Crazyfucker attempts a volley of left punches to the nose, but only hits air.
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+Pillow Hands backs up Crazyfucker with a barrage of glancing shots to the stomach.
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+Pillow Hands connects with a series of off balance shots to the jaw.
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-Pillow Hands lashes out with a sweeping right to the mouth, but Crazyfucker narrowly avoids it
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-Crazyfucker attempts a series of right punches to the mouth, but Pillow Hands leaps aside.
-Crazyfucker attempts a flurry of shots to the face, but Pillow Hands ducks.
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-Crazyfucker throws a jab to the head, but Pillow Hands steps aside.
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-Pillow Hands throws a flurry of right punches to the chin, but loses his balance.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 23 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 19 of 38 punches.

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 99-91


Crazyfucker doesn't even want to rest!

Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has minor cut above the right eye. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has cut below the right eye. He has the right eye swollen shut. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken tooth.



ROUND 11

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

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+Pillow Hands tosses a series of loud shots to the face.
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-Crazyfucker attempts a flurry of shots to the mouth, but fails to score.
-Pillow Hands attempts a pair of blows to the mouth, but misses.
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+Pillow Hands hits with a barrage of solid punches to the nose. Crazyfucker shakes his head to clear it.
-Crazyfucker probes with a roundhouse to the ribs, but Pillow Hands steps aside and laughs.
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-Pillow Hands throws a flurry of right shots to the temple, but Crazyfucker stays away from it.
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-Crazyfucker attempts a flurry of punches to the head, but Pillow Hands takes it in the forearms.
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+Pillow Hands hits with a flurry of painful shots to the chin.
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-Pillow Hands tries a right to the solar plexus, but Crazyfucker ducks.
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-Crazyfucker tries a flurry of blows to the jaw, but Pillow Hands narrowly avoids it
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 25 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 22 of 44 punches.

Crazyfucker won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 108-101


Crazyfucker doesn't even want to rest!

Pillow Hands doesn't even want to rest! He has minor cut above the right eye. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has cut below the right eye. He has the right eye swollen shut. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken jaw.



ROUND 12

Crazyfucker comes out fighting.
Pillow Hands comes out fighting.

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+Pillow Hands hits with a volley of powerful punches to the solar plexus. Crazyfucker doesn't notice.
-Crazyfucker probes with a volley of right shots to the mouth, but loses his balance.
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-Pillow Hands lunges with a volley of left blows to the jaw, but Crazyfucker ducks just in time.
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-Pillow Hands lunges with a barrage of shots to the solar plexus, but Crazyfucker backs out of it.
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-Crazyfucker probes with a barrage of punches to the chin, but misses completely.
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-Pillow Hands probes with a volley of right shots to the nose, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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-Pillow Hands paws a right right to the chest, but Crazyfucker covers himself well.
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-Crazyfucker attempts a barrage of left punches to the face, but Pillow Hands escapes.
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-Crazyfucker attacks with a barrage of punches to the chin, but misses.
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+Pillow Hands tosses a sweeping right to the temple.
+Pillow Hands scores with a barrage of solid shots to the head!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Crazyfucker landed 3 of 27 punches, and Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 17 of 37 punches.

Crazyfucker won the round 10-9

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco is winning the fight 117-111


Crazyfucker doesn't even want to rest!

Pillow Hands doesn't even want to rest! He has cut above the right eye. He has cut above the left eye. He has cut below the right eye. He has the right eye swollen shut. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken jaw.




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 2: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 3: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 4: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 5: Crazyfucker 10-9
Round 6: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 7: Crazyfucker 10-9
Round 8: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 9: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 10: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 11: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 12: Crazyfucker 10-9

Total Score: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 117-111


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 2: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 3: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 4: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 5: Crazyfucker 10-9
Round 6: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 7: A 10-10 tie.
Round 8: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 9: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 10: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 11: A 10-10 tie.
Round 12: Crazyfucker 10-9

Total Score: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 118-112


Roy Jones Jr scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 2: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 3: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 4: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 5: Crazyfucker 10-9
Round 6: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 7: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 8: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 9: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 10: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 11: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 10-9
Round 12: Crazyfucker 10-9

Total Score: Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco 118-110

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco wins by decision!