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(Heavyweight) Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler defeated Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco by technical knockout (TKO) in round 7.

Match Sunday, March 23, 2014

In this corner, standing 6 feet and 7 inches (201 centimeters) tall weighing in at 271 pounds (123 kilograms) is Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco!!

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 9 inches (175 centimeters) tall weighing in at 242 pounds (110 kilograms) is Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler!!

The referee for this bout will be Dalby Shirley.

ROUND 1

Pillow Hands comes out fighting.
Beerguzzler clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Pillow Hands throws a pair of blows to the jaw, but only hits air.
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+Beerguzzler drills Pillow Hands with a series of blows to the solar plexus.
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-Pillow Hands probes with a right left to the face, but he's too slow.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Pillow Hands jars Beerguzzler with a barrage of light punches to the face!! Beerguzzler covers up.
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-Pillow Hands lashes out with a series of left punches to the chin, but only hits air.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Beerguzzler annoys Pillow Hands with a flurry of nasty shots to the solar plexus.
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-Beerguzzler fires a series of punches to the solar plexus, but Pillow Hands narrowly avoids it
+Beerguzzler throws a flurry of stiff blows to the solar plexus. Pillow Hands sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
-Pillow Hands attempts a sweeping right to the stomach, but Beerguzzler hides behind his gloves.
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+Pillow Hands fires a jab to the stomach. Beerguzzler doesn't seem bothered.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Pillow Hands probes with a volley of right punches to the ribs, but flails uselessly.
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-Beerguzzler tries a barrage of punches to the chest, but Pillow Hands escapes.

BELL

According to the commentator:

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 12 of 45 punches, and Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler landed 16 of 33 punches.

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler won the round 10-9

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler is winning the fight 10-9


Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting!

Beerguzzler doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Pillow Hands comes out fighting.
Beerguzzler clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Beerguzzler tries a series of right blows to the ribs, but Pillow Hands narrowly avoids it
+Beerguzzler suprises Pillow Hands with a barrage of blows to the chest.
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+Beerguzzler belts Pillow Hands with a pair of strong punches to the ribs.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Beerguzzler lunges with a hook to the ribs, but goes wide.
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-Pillow Hands throws a pair of blows to the face, but Beerguzzler backs out of it.
-Pillow Hands launches a series of shots to the temple, but goes wide.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

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-Pillow Hands tries a sweeping right to the eye, but Beerguzzler ties him up.
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-Pillow Hands fires a flurry of blows to the chest, but Beerguzzler steps aside and laughs.
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+Pillow Hands catches Beerguzzler with a barrage of glancing punches to the chin.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Beerguzzler attempts a series of blows to the stomach, but Pillow Hands blocks.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 11 of 42 punches, and Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler landed 15 of 31 punches.

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler won the round 10-9

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler is winning the fight 20-18


Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has a bloody lip.

Beerguzzler doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 3

Pillow Hands comes out fighting.
Beerguzzler clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

+Beerguzzler hits Pillow Hands with a flurry of punches to the head.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

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+Pillow Hands fires a pair of off balance punches to the mouth.
Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Pillow Hands pounds Beerguzzler with a pair of strong punches to the stomach.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

+Beerguzzler tags Pillow Hands with a barrage of stiff shots to the eye.
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-Beerguzzler attacks with a pair of left blows to the head, but Pillow Hands ties him up.
Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Beerguzzler launches a volley of shots to the eye, but Pillow Hands ducks just in time.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

+Pillow Hands hits with Beerguzzler with a bite to the ear! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 12 of 37 punches, and Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler landed 9 of 23 punches.

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler won the round 10-9

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler is winning the fight 30-27


Pillow Hands doesn't want to stop fighting! He has a bloody mouth.

Beerguzzler doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 4

Pillow Hands comes out fighting.
Beerguzzler clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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-Pillow Hands lunges with a volley of right blows to the chest, but Beerguzzler takes it in the forearms.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
-Pillow Hands tries to land a series of left blows to the chin, but to no avail.
-Pillow Hands attacks with a pair of right blows to the face, but Beerguzzler blocks.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

-Beerguzzler fires a volley of left shots to the face, but Pillow Hands hides behind his gloves.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Beerguzzler hits with a barrage of shots to the head. Pillow Hands retreats to the far corner.
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-Beerguzzler lashes out with a volley of right shots to the eye, but Pillow Hands deftly avoits it.
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+Pillow Hands pops Beerguzzler with a barrage of stiff blows to the jaw!
-Pillow Hands launches a barrage of right blows to the chin, but Beerguzzler ties him up.
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-Pillow Hands launches a volley of left blows to the jaw, but misses.
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+Beerguzzler smashes Pillow Hands with a barrage of heavy shots to the temple.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 11 of 38 punches, and Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler landed 11 of 25 punches.

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler won the round 10-9

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler is winning the fight 40-36


Pillow Hands doesn't even want to rest! He has minor cut above the right eye. He has a bloody mouth.

Beerguzzler doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 5

Pillow Hands comes out fighting.
Beerguzzler clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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+Pillow Hands pummels Beerguzzler with a nasty roundhouse to the chest.
-Pillow Hands launches a barrage of left shots to the eye, but goes wide.
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+Beerguzzler hits with a cross to the jaw.
Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Pillow Hands charges with a right sweeping right to the eye, but Beerguzzler narrowly avoids it
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-Pillow Hands charges with a right to the stomach, but goes wide.
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-Pillow Hands attempts a volley of blows to the jaw, but to no avail.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Pillow Hands probes with a volley of blows to the solar plexus, but is ineffective.
+Pillow Hands hits with a light roundhouse to the jaw.
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+Beerguzzler pokes Pillow Hands with a volley of stiff punches to the head.
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+Pillow Hands nails Beerguzzler with a painful jab to the chin.
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-Beerguzzler paws a series of left blows to the face, but Pillow Hands ducks just in time.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
-Pillow Hands charges with a flurry of shots to the head, but flails uselessly.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 14 of 43 punches, and Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler landed 11 of 25 punches.

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler won the round 10-9

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler is winning the fight 50-45


Pillow Hands doesn't even want to rest! He has minor cut above the right eye. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken jaw.

Beerguzzler doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 6

Pillow Hands comes out fighting.
Beerguzzler clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Pillow Hands attempts a flurry of blows to the chin, but only hits air.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Pillow Hands attacks with a left straight right to the eye, but Beerguzzler covers himself well.
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-Beerguzzler tries to land a series of right blows to the eye, but loses his balance.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

+Pillow Hands grazes Beerguzzler with a series of nasty blows to the chin. Beerguzzler gets mad!
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Beerguzzler catches Pillow Hands with a mean roundhouse to the chin!! Pillow Hands asks for time to wipe off the blood.
-Pillow Hands attempts a volley of shots to the head, but Beerguzzler hides behind his gloves.
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+Beerguzzler drills Pillow Hands with a barrage of commanding shots to the chin.
-Pillow Hands tries to land a right roundhouse to the ribs, but goes wide.
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-Beerguzzler lunges with a pair of right shots to the eye, but misses completely.
+Pillow Hands tattoos Beerguzzler with a series of punches to the temple.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco landed 13 of 41 punches, and Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler landed 10 of 24 punches.

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler won the round 10-9

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler is winning the fight 60-54


Pillow Hands doesn't even want to rest! He has minor cut above the right eye. He has cut below the left eye. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken jaw.

Beerguzzler doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 7

Pillow Hands comes out fighting.
Beerguzzler clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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+Pillow Hands connects with a volley of blows to the face.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.
Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

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-Beerguzzler probes with a pair of left shots to the temple, but loses his balance.
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Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

+Beerguzzler hits with a volley of powerful blows to the chin.
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+Beerguzzler tosses a series of shots to the chin.
Pillow Hands tries to attack, but Beerguzzler hangs on until the referee separates them.

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-Beerguzzler tries a flurry of shots to the mouth, but fails to score.
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-Beerguzzler lunges with a flurry of shots to the face, but fails to score.
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-Pillow Hands attacks with a volley of right blows to the temple, but Beerguzzler escapes.
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+Pillow Hands hits with a barrage of light shots to the head. Beerguzzler backpedals to his own corner.
-Pillow Hands charges with a pair of punches to the nose, but Beerguzzler stays away from it.
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BELL
Pillow Hands doesn't even want to rest! He has cut above the right eye. He has cut below the left eye. He has a fractured nose. He has a broken jaw.

Beerguzzler doesn't even want to rest!

The doctor won't let Joe "Pillow Hands" Demarco continue the fight! Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler wins by TKO!!





Judge Guimond had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 2: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 3: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 4: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 5: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 6: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9


Judge Leinbach had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 2: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 3: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 4: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 5: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 6: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9


Oscar De La Hoya had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 2: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 3: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 4: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 5: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9
Round 6: Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler 10-9

Cosmopolitan Beerguzzler wins by a technical knockout!