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(Heavyweight) Patient X defeated Crazyfucker by technical knockout (TKO) in round 7.

Match Friday, February 21, 2014

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 9 inches (175 centimeters) tall weighing in at 237 pounds (108 kilograms) is Patient X!!

In this corner, standing 6 feet and 4 inches (193 centimeters) tall weighing in at 343 pounds (156 kilograms) is Crazyfucker!!

The referee for this bout will be Mitch Halpern.

ROUND 1

Patient comes out fighting.
Crazyfucker comes out fighting.

-Patient launches a left jab to the mouth, but fails to score.
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-Crazyfucker fires a series of left shots to the jaw, but only hits air.
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-Crazyfucker paws a flurry of blows to the temple, but Patient steps aside and laughs.
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+Patient suprises Crazyfucker with a flurry of vicious shots to the chin.
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-Patient launches a barrage of left punches to the eye, but misses completely.
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+Crazyfucker jolts Patient with a flurry of wild blows to the temple.
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-Patient launches a flurry of shots to the stomach, but Crazyfucker covers himself well.
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+Crazyfucker punches Patient with a series of punches to the nose.
-Patient lunges with a barrage of right blows to the face, but Crazyfucker hides behind his gloves.
-Patient lashes out with a volley of blows to the temple, but fails to score.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Patient X landed 6 of 32 punches, and Crazyfucker landed 9 of 24 punches.

Crazyfucker won the round 10-9

Crazyfucker is winning the fight 10-9


Patient doesn't even want to rest!

Crazyfucker doesn't even want to rest! He has cut below the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a bloody nose.



ROUND 2

Patient comes out fighting.
Crazyfucker comes out fighting.

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-Patient throws a barrage of punches to the head, but Crazyfucker covers himself well.
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-Crazyfucker lashes out with a series of left shots to the ribs, but Patient ducks.
-Patient tries a series of blows to the jaw, but he's too slow.
-Crazyfucker tries a pair of right blows to the face, but Patient narrowly avoids it
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-Crazyfucker attempts a barrage of left blows to the chest, but Patient leaps aside.
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-Patient charges with a right uppercut to the stomach, but flails uselessly.
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+Patient fires a series of punches to the head!!
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-Patient attempts a volley of shots to the face, but to no avail.
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+Crazyfucker whacks Patient with a furious right to the temple.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Patient X landed 6 of 30 punches, and Crazyfucker landed 8 of 23 punches.

Patient X won the round 10-9

This fight is too close to call.


Patient doesn't even want to rest!

Crazyfucker remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has cut below the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a bloody nose.



ROUND 3

Patient comes out fighting.
Crazyfucker comes out fighting.

-Patient tries to land a pair of left shots to the chin, but is ineffective.
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+Crazyfucker scores with a pair of blows to the chin.
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-Patient attempts a flurry of blows to the stomach, but Crazyfucker leaps aside.
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-Crazyfucker probes with a jab to the chest, but Patient narrowly avoids it
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-Patient attempts a series of left punches to the stomach, but falls short.
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+Patient takes charge with a volley of blows to the face.
-Patient attempts a series of shots to the temple, but Crazyfucker leaps aside.
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-Crazyfucker lashes out with a volley of punches to the stomach, but falls short.
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-Patient attempts a left left to the chin, but comes up empty.
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-Crazyfucker attempts a flurry of shots to the solar plexus, but he's too slow.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Patient X landed 7 of 33 punches, and Crazyfucker landed 8 of 24 punches.

Patient X won the round 10-9

Patient X is winning the fight 29-28


Patient remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Crazyfucker is obviously tired. He has cut below the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a bloody nose.



ROUND 4

Patient comes out fighting.
Crazyfucker comes out fighting.

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-Crazyfucker fires a pair of left blows to the mouth, but Patient covers himself well.
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-Crazyfucker throws a barrage of left punches to the solar plexus, but Patient backs out of it.
-Patient attempts a series of blows to the solar plexus, but Crazyfucker blocks.
+Patient thumps Crazyfucker with a flurry of off balance punches to the jaw.
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+Crazyfucker lashes out with a flurry of punches to the temple! Patient hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
-Patient tries a pair of shots to the chin, but Crazyfucker ducks just in time.
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-Crazyfucker tries to land a flurry of left punches to the eye, but to no avail.
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-Patient tries to land a series of left blows to the temple, but flails uselessly.
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-Patient charges with a left roundhouse to the eye, but Crazyfucker takes it in the forearms.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Patient X landed 6 of 30 punches, and Crazyfucker landed 8 of 25 punches.

Patient X won the round 10-9

Patient X is winning the fight 39-37


Patient grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Crazyfucker is slowing down. He has cut below the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a bloody nose.



ROUND 5

Patient comes out fighting.
Crazyfucker comes out fighting.

+Crazyfucker tosses a pair of blows to the head.
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+Patient hits with a series of shots to the ribs.
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-Crazyfucker throws a flurry of left punches to the jaw, but Patient beats a hasty retreat.
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-Patient attempts a pair of left shots to the temple, but Crazyfucker hides behind his gloves.
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-Crazyfucker attempts a volley of shots to the nose, but only hits air.
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+Patient annoys Crazyfucker with a series of heavy punches to the face. Crazyfucker backpedals to his own corner.
Patient lands a lightning right hook and Crazyfucker is knocked out of the ring!!

ONE

TWO

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EIGHT
Crazyfucker struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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-Patient tries to land a left left to the chest, but he's too slow.
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+Crazyfucker jolts Patient with a barrage of powerful punches to the eye.
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-Crazyfucker attacks with a left right to the face, but only hits air.
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-Patient lunges with a series of left punches to the temple, but goes wide.
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The fighters start chatting with members of the press.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Patient X landed 8 of 32 punches, and Crazyfucker landed 6 of 23 punches.

Patient X won the round 10-8

Patient X is winning the fight 49-45


Patient grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Crazyfucker looks exhausted. He has gash below the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has swelling above the left eye. He has a fractured nose.



ROUND 6

Patient comes out fighting.
Crazyfucker comes out fighting.

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-Patient tries to land a volley of right punches to the chin, but Crazyfucker steps aside and laughs.
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-Crazyfucker lunges with a pair of punches to the nose, but Patient hides behind his gloves.
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-Patient launches a pair of left blows to the mouth, but only hits air.
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-Crazyfucker probes with a series of shots to the temple, but Patient blocks.
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-Patient lunges with a flurry of left shots to the temple, but Crazyfucker hides behind his gloves.
-Crazyfucker probes with a barrage of blows to the ribs, but is ineffective.
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-Patient tries to land a cross to the chin, but to no avail.
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+Patient fires a volley of punches to the chest.
Patient lands a powerful left cross to the jaw and Crazyfucker hurtles to the canvas!!

ONE

TWO

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FIVE

SIX

SEVEN
Crazyfucker struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
-Patient throws a pair of punches to the nose, but goes wide.
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+Patient hits with a flurry of furious blows to the solar plexus.
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+Crazyfucker lands a series of shots to the head. Patient quickly recovers.
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-Patient lashes out with a volley of right punches to the chin, but Crazyfucker hides behind his gloves.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Patient X landed 7 of 35 punches, and Crazyfucker landed 5 of 24 punches.

Patient X won the round 10-8

Patient X is winning the fight 59-53


Patient grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Crazyfucker collapses limply onto his stool. He has gash below the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye. He has swelling above the left eye. He has a fractured nose.



ROUND 7

Patient comes out fighting.
Crazyfucker comes out fighting.

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-Crazyfucker fires a flurry of left blows to the nose, but Patient narrowly avoids it
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+Crazyfucker wallops Patient with a series of commanding blows to the solar plexus.
-Patient attempts a volley of shots to the solar plexus, but loses his balance.
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-Crazyfucker charges with a left jab to the chin, but misses.
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-Patient attempts a barrage of punches to the face, but Crazyfucker backs out of it.
+Patient tags Crazyfucker with a barrage of blows to the temple!
Patient lands a terrific right blow to the head and Crazyfucker staggers. He reaches for the ropes ... and misses -- Flop!!

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EIGHT
Crazyfucker struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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+Patient slams Crazyfucker with a furious hook to the solar plexus.
Patient lands a thundering punch in the nose and Crazyfucker bounces off the ropes and onto his face! -- he's down!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE
Crazyfucker struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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-Patient fires a pair of right punches to the chest, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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+Crazyfucker pops Patient with a volley of glancing punches to the temple!
+Patient attacks with a barrage of punches to the jaw.
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-Crazyfucker launches a series of left punches to the face, but Patient steps aside.
-Patient lunges with a barrage of shots to the eye, but Crazyfucker deftly avoits it.
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BELL
Patient grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Crazyfucker can't remember which corner is his. He has gash below the left eye. He has the right eye swollen shut. He has the left eye swollen shut. He has a fractured nose.

The doctor won't let Crazyfucker continue the fight! Patient X wins by TKO!!





Judge Guimond had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Crazyfucker 10-9
Round 2: Crazyfucker 10-9
Round 3: Patient X 10-9
Round 4: Patient X 10-9
Round 5: Patient X 10-8
Round 6: Patient X 10-8


Judge Leinbach had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Patient X 10-9
Round 2: Patient X 10-9
Round 3: Patient X 10-9
Round 4: Patient X 10-9
Round 5: Patient X 10-8
Round 6: Patient X 10-8


Sean O'Grady had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Crazyfucker 10-9
Round 2: Crazyfucker 10-9
Round 3: Patient X 10-9
Round 4: Patient X 10-9
Round 5: Patient X 10-8
Round 6: Patient X 10-8

Patient X wins by a technical knockout!