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(Strawweight) Lord of Shatterskull Pass defeated Army of Dorkness 1 by unanimous decision: 117-111, 117-111, 117-111.

Match Monday, June 8, 2020

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 3 inches (160 centimeters) tall weighing in at 98 pounds (44 kilograms) is Lord of Shatterskull Pass!!

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 5 inches (135 centimeters) tall weighing in at 86 pounds (39 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 1!!

The referee for this bout will be Jay Nady.

ROUND 1

Lord is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Lord drills Dorkness 1 with a volley of punches to the head.
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a pair of combinations to the jaw, but Lord deftly avoits it.
+Lord pokes Dorkness 1 with a flurry of combinations to the temple. Dorkness 1 sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
+Dorkness 1 lands Lord with an illegal rabbit punch! That was totally uncalled for!
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+Lord wallops Dorkness 1 with a straight right to the chin. Dorkness 1 sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a volley of punches to the jaw, but Lord escapes.
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+Lord thumps Dorkness 1 with a barrage of punches to the face.
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+Dorkness 1 hits with a barrage of nice combinations to the head.
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a flurry of right combinations to the mouth, but Lord stays away from it.
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+Dorkness 1 fires a pair of glancing combinations to the mouth!! Lord falls against the ropes!
+Lord hurts Dorkness 1 with a barrage of quick punches to the head.
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+Lord lands a volley of off balance punches to the head.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 21 of 21 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 11 of 34 punches.

Lord of Shatterskull Pass won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 10-9


Lord doesn't want to stop fighting!

Dorkness 1 doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Lord is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a volley of punches to the chest, but he's too slow.
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+Lord pummels Dorkness 1 with a pair of nice punches to the ribs.
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+Lord attacks with a flurry of combinations to the chest. Dorkness 1 gets mad!
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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a flurry of combinations to the stomach, but Lord leaps aside.
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+Lord scores with a series of light punches to the chest.
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+Dorkness 1 hits with a volley of combinations to the solar plexus.
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+Lord fires a off balance hook to the ribs. Dorkness 1 falls against the ropes!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 20 of 23 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 11 of 26 punches.

Lord of Shatterskull Pass won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 20-18


Lord doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 3

Lord is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Lord hammers Dorkness 1 with a volley of nice shots to the solar plexus!!
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+Dorkness 1 scores with a barrage of punches to the solar plexus!
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+Lord attacks with a cross to the stomach.
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a pair of combinations to the chest, but falls short.
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+Lord punches Dorkness 1 with a pair of stiff punches to the stomach.
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+Lord punches Dorkness 1 with a barrage of shots to the ribs.
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+Dorkness 1 hits with a flurry of powerful punches to the solar plexus. Lord doesn't notice.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 30 of 32 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 11 of 23 punches.

Lord of Shatterskull Pass won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 30-27


Lord doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 4

Lord is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a flurry of combinations to the ribs, but misses completely.
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+Dorkness 1 scores with a glancing jab to the chest. Lord asks for time to wipe off the blood.
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+Lord pokes Dorkness 1 with a series of nasty punches to the solar plexus.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a volley of punches to the ribs, but goes wide.
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+Lord tattoos Dorkness 1 with a powerful roundhouse to the jaw. Dorkness 1 gets mad!
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-Dorkness 1 fires a barrage of right blows to the chest, but only hits air.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 7 of 7 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 24 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 39-37


Lord doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 5

Lord is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 tries to land a right left to the solar plexus, but Lord leaps aside.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a volley of left combinations to the stomach, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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-Dorkness 1 fires a flurry of left combinations to the chest, but he's too slow.
+Dorkness 1 throws a flurry of mean punches to the chest. Lord quickly recovers.
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+Lord connects with a flurry of commanding punches to the solar plexus.
+Dorkness 1 attacks with a nice right to the solar plexus.
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+Lord wakes up the fans with a flurry of punches to the solar plexus.
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+Lord pounds Dorkness 1 with a series of solid punches to the stomach. Dorkness 1 sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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+Lord hits with a volley of nasty punches to the chest.
+Lord hits with a flurry of loud punches to the ribs.
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+Lord clocks Dorkness 1 with a barrage of punches to the ribs.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 29 of 31 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 10 of 25 punches.

Lord of Shatterskull Pass won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 49-46


Lord remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 6

Lord is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Dorkness 1 staggers Lord with a volley of quick punches to the solar plexus. Lord grimaces in pain.
-Dorkness 1 lunges with a barrage of left punches to the chest, but to no avail.
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+Lord fires a strong jab to the mouth. Dorkness 1 quickly recovers.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 7 of 22 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 58-56


Lord remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 7

Lord is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Lord wakes up the fans with a barrage of powerful combinations to the solar plexus.
+Lord wakes up the fans with a volley of punches to the ribs. Dorkness 1 is hurt!
-Dorkness 1 tries a pair of left combinations to the stomach, but to no avail.
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+Dorkness 1 lashes out with a series of combinations to the ribs.
-Dorkness 1 probes with a barrage of left combinations to the ribs, but Lord stays away from it.
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+Lord pokes Dorkness 1 with a barrage of mean punches to the chest.
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+Dorkness 1 pokes Lord with a pair of combinations to the solar plexus!!
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+Lord hits with a volley of stiff combinations to the stomach. Dorkness 1 asks for time to wipe off the blood.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 31 of 34 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 10 of 25 punches.

Lord of Shatterskull Pass won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 68-65


Lord remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 8

Lord is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Lord annoys Dorkness 1 with a volley of powerful punches to the jaw. Dorkness 1 backpedals to his own corner.
+Dorkness 1 whacks Lord with a pair of combinations to the solar plexus.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a volley of combinations to the ribs, but misses completely.
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-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a volley of right combinations to the ribs, but goes wide.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 7 of 25 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 77-75


Lord remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 9

Lord is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Lord throws a pair of loud punches to the eye.
+Dorkness 1 pokes Lord with a pair of mean combinations to the solar plexus.
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-Dorkness 1 fires a flurry of left combinations to the stomach, but Lord ducks.
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+Lord pummels Dorkness 1 with a pair of solid shots to the face.
+Lord hits with a volley of painful punches to the chin. Dorkness 1 seems wobbly!
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-Dorkness 1 charges with a series of combinations to the chest, but Lord steps aside.
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-Dorkness 1 fires a series of left punches to the stomach, but Lord deftly avoits it.
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+Lord throws a pair of stiff combinations to the nose. Dorkness 1 beats a hasty retreat.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 24 of 25 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 23 punches.

Lord of Shatterskull Pass won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 87-84


Lord remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 10

Lord is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

+Lord pops Dorkness 1 with a series of loud punches to the head. Dorkness 1 quickly recovers.
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+Dorkness 1 hits with a series of glancing combinations to the solar plexus.
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+Dorkness 1 tattoos Lord with a powerful roundhouse to the solar plexus!! Lord retreats to the far corner.
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+Lord slams Dorkness 1 with a volley of quick punches to the face.
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+Lord shakes Dorkness 1 with a pair of punches to the temple. Dorkness 1 ignores it.
+Lord tosses a left to the mouth.
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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a series of combinations to the chest, but Lord ducks.
+Lord smacks Dorkness 1 with a pair of stiff punches to the chin.
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-Dorkness 1 paws a pair of punches to the chest, but Lord deftly avoits it.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 26 of 30 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 10 of 24 punches.

Lord of Shatterskull Pass won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 97-93


Lord grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.



ROUND 11

Lord is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

+Lord throws a quick straight right to the head.
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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a series of right punches to the chest, but fails to score.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a series of right combinations to the solar plexus, but Lord ducks.
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+Dorkness 1 annoys Lord with a volley of wild punches to the stomach. Lord gets mad!
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+Lord hurts Dorkness 1 with a volley of nice punches to the nose.
+Lord wakes up the fans with a series of wild punches to the face.
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+Lord suprises Dorkness 1 with a nice roundhouse to the mouth.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 30 of 33 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 10 of 23 punches.

Lord of Shatterskull Pass won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 107-102


Lord grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.



ROUND 12

Lord is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Lord slams Dorkness 1 with a series of vicious punches to the face!
-Dorkness 1 fires a cross to the nose, but to no avail.
+Lord pops Dorkness 1 with a stiff roundhouse to the jaw!
+Lord drills Dorkness 1 with a volley of quick punches to the nose.
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-Dorkness 1 tries to land a flurry of right punches to the chin, but Lord quickly backs away.
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+Lord catches Dorkness 1 with a flurry of punches to the face.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a volley of right punches to the jaw, but comes up empty.
-Dorkness 1 launches a barrage of combinations to the face, but goes wide.
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+Dorkness 1 lands a pair of hard punches to the chin!
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+Dorkness 1 jolts Lord with a bite to the ear! How can the TBG commission stand for this behavior?
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+Dorkness 1 annoys Lord with a pair of hard punches to the temple!!
-Dorkness 1 probes with a jab to the jaw, but he's too slow.
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+Dorkness 1 annoys Lord with a pair of quick combinations to the nose.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Lord of Shatterskull Pass landed 23 of 23 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 16 of 37 punches.

Lord of Shatterskull Pass won the round 10-9

Lord of Shatterskull Pass is winning the fight 117-111


Lord grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool. He has a bloody lip.

Dorkness 1 grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 2: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 3: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 10: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 11: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 12: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9

Total Score: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 117-111


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 2: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 3: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 10: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 11: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 12: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9

Total Score: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 117-111


Roy Jones Jr scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 2: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 3: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 10: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 11: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9
Round 12: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 10-9

Total Score: Lord of Shatterskull Pass 117-111

Lord of Shatterskull Pass wins by decision!