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Public Fight Report

(Strawweight) Army of Dorkness 1 defeated Sugar Ray Cahn by technical knockout (TKO) in round 5.

Match Monday, May 25, 2020

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 5 inches (135 centimeters) tall weighing in at 86 pounds (39 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 1!!

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 10 inches (178 centimeters) tall weighing in at 104 pounds (47 kilograms) is Sugar Ray Cahn!!

The referee for this bout will be Joe Cortez.

ROUND 1

Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)
Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)

+Sugar hurts Dorkness 1 with a pair of punches to the chin.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a flurry of left combinations to the mouth, but goes wide.
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+Sugar slams Dorkness 1 with a flurry of stinging shots to the chin. Dorkness 1 falls against the ropes!
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+Dorkness 1 throws Sugar with a head butt! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
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+Dorkness 1 tags Sugar with a volley of mean combinations to the chin.
+Sugar hits with a pair of punches to the face. Dorkness 1 backpedals to his own corner.
+Dorkness 1 staggers Sugar with a volley of punches to the chin.
Dorkness 1 lands a brutal right punch in the nose and Sugar is flattened!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE
Sugar struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
+Sugar strikes with a volley of loud punches to the jaw!
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+Sugar lashes out with a barrage of stiff punches to the temple.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a sweeping right to the mouth, but Sugar backs out of it.
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+Sugar annoys Dorkness 1 with a stinging jab to the mouth.
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-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a volley of punches to the temple, but comes up empty.
+Sugar hits Dorkness 1 with a series of loud punches to the face.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 1 landed 12 of 33 punches, and Sugar Ray Cahn landed 30 of 31 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-8

Army of Dorkness 1 is winning the fight 10-8


Dorkness 1 doesn't want to stop fighting!

Sugar doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 2

Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)
Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)

+Sugar clocks Dorkness 1 with a flurry of powerful punches to the jaw.
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-Dorkness 1 tries a series of right combinations to the ribs, but Sugar ties him up.
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+Sugar jolts Dorkness 1 with a pair of loud punches to the head.
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+Sugar staggers Dorkness 1 with a barrage of strong punches to the jaw.
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-Sugar attempts a flurry of punches to the temple, but Dorkness 1 ducks just in time.
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+Sugar throws a flurry of quick punches to the jaw. Dorkness 1 ignores it.
+Sugar pounds Dorkness 1 with a volley of heavy punches to the nose. Dorkness 1 asks for time to wipe off the blood.
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+Sugar hammers Dorkness 1 with a series of wild punches to the temple.
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+Dorkness 1 wakes up the fans with a mean left to the chest!
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-Dorkness 1 paws a barrage of punches to the solar plexus, but Sugar ducks just in time.
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+Sugar hits with a powerful sweeping right to the mouth.
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+Sugar thumps Dorkness 1 with a barrage of combinations to the head.
+Sugar hits with a pair of solid punches to the eye!
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+Sugar attacks with a pair of punches to the jaw.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 25 punches, and Sugar Ray Cahn landed 50 of 60 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 1 is winning the fight 19-18


Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!

Sugar grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.



ROUND 3

Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)
Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)

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+Sugar hits with a barrage of furious punches to the nose. Dorkness 1 is hurt!
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+Sugar punches Dorkness 1 with a volley of mean punches to the eye.
+Sugar smashes Dorkness 1 with a series of powerful punches to the chin.
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+Sugar lands a pair of loud punches to the nose. Dorkness 1 seems wobbly!
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+Sugar annoys Dorkness 1 with a volley of heavy punches to the nose.
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+Dorkness 1 tattoos Sugar with a pair of loud punches to the solar plexus.
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+Sugar hits with a flurry of punches to the nose. Dorkness 1 doesn't seem bothered.
+Sugar wallops Dorkness 1 with a right to the ribs.
+Sugar pounds Dorkness 1 with a barrage of punches to the jaw.
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-Dorkness 1 throws a volley of right combinations to the solar plexus, but goes wide.
+Sugar pounds Dorkness 1 with a volley of punches to the face.
-Dorkness 1 fires a barrage of right punches to the ribs, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
+Sugar rocks Dorkness 1 with a volley of punches to the chin.
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+Sugar throws a flurry of nasty punches to the head.
+Sugar shakes Dorkness 1 with a nasty jab to the head.
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+Sugar punches Dorkness 1 with a straight right to the solar plexus. Dorkness 1 shakes his head to clear it.
+Dorkness 1 hits with a volley of combinations to the solar plexus.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 1 landed 9 of 23 punches, and Sugar Ray Cahn landed 67 of 76 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

This fight is too close to call.


Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!

Sugar looks exhausted.



ROUND 4

Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)
Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)

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-Sugar charges with a barrage of right combinations to the ribs, but Dorkness 1 stays away from it.
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+Sugar drills Dorkness 1 with a volley of heavy combinations to the head.
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-Sugar attempts a pair of punches to the solar plexus, but Dorkness 1 hides behind his gloves.
-Dorkness 1 attacks with a volley of right combinations to the solar plexus, but Sugar takes it in the forearms.
+Sugar pounds Dorkness 1 with a barrage of punches to the chin.
+Dorkness 1 nails Sugar with a light sweeping right to the solar plexus.
+Sugar hits Dorkness 1 with a flurry of punches to the mouth.
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-Sugar tries to land a barrage of left punches to the head, but to no avail.
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+Sugar staggers Dorkness 1 with a flurry of punches to the eye.
-Sugar charges with a series of punches to the eye, but Dorkness 1 steps aside and laughs.
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+Sugar shakes Dorkness 1 with a series of powerful punches to the chest. Dorkness 1 gets mad!
-Dorkness 1 tries to land a series of punches to the chest, but Sugar steps aside and laughs.
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-Sugar throws a flurry of punches to the mouth, but is ineffective.
+Sugar tags Dorkness 1 with a pair of heavy punches to the solar plexus.
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+Sugar clocks Dorkness 1 with a barrage of commanding punches to the chin.
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+Sugar catches Dorkness 1 with a volley of blows to the mouth. Dorkness 1 falls against the ropes!
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+Dorkness 1 lashes out with a pair of loud punches to the ribs.
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+Dorkness 1 pounds Sugar with a pair of punches to the solar plexus. Sugar sneers "Is that the best you can do?"

BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 1 landed 14 of 25 punches, and Sugar Ray Cahn landed 45 of 68 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 38-37


Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!

Sugar can't remember which corner is his.



ROUND 5

Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)
Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)

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+Sugar hits Dorkness 1 with a nasty roundhouse to the chest!
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-Sugar attempts a series of left punches to the solar plexus, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
-Sugar fires a pair of punches to the chest, but Dorkness 1 ties him up.
-Sugar lunges with a volley of left punches to the ribs, but Dorkness 1 quickly backs away.
+Dorkness 1 suprises Sugar with a flurry of stiff combinations to the chest.
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+Dorkness 1 annoys Sugar with a flurry of furious combinations to the ribs.
+Dorkness 1 nails Sugar with a straight right to the solar plexus.
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+Dorkness 1 takes charge with a series of stiff combinations to the solar plexus.
Dorkness 1 lands a tremendous smash to the jaw and Sugar falls to the canvas!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN
Sugar struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a series of right combinations to the solar plexus, but loses his balance.
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-Sugar attempts a barrage of left punches to the stomach, but Dorkness 1 ducks just in time.
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+Dorkness 1 drills Sugar with a flurry of punches to the solar plexus. Dorkness 1 is raining blows! Sugar is so messed up his own mother wouldn't know him! The Referee stops the fight!
Army of Dorkness 1 wins by a Knock Out!!

BELL
Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Sugar can't remember which corner is his.






Judge Guimond had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 1 10-8
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9


Judge Leinbach had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 1 10-8
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9


Sean O'Grady had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 1 10-8
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9

Army of Dorkness 1 wins by a technical knockout!