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Public Fight Report

(Strawweight) Sugar Ray Cahn defeated Army of Dorkness 1 by unanimous decision: 116-112, 116-112, 116-112.

Match Monday, April 20, 2020

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 10 inches (178 centimeters) tall weighing in at 104 pounds (47 kilograms) is Sugar Ray Cahn!!

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 5 inches (135 centimeters) tall weighing in at 86 pounds (39 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 1!!

The referee for this bout will be Joe Cortez.

ROUND 1

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar wallops Dorkness 1 with a pair of punches to the temple. Dorkness 1 beats a hasty retreat.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a volley of left punches to the face, but misses completely.
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+Sugar nails Dorkness 1 with a flurry of punches to the head!
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+Sugar hits with a barrage of solid punches to the head.
+Sugar nails Dorkness 1 with a pair of stinging punches to the jaw! Dorkness 1 retreats to the far corner.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a series of punches to the temple, but Sugar stays away from it.
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a left jab to the temple, but goes wide.
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+Dorkness 1 thumps Sugar with a series of vicious combinations to the head. Sugar grimaces in pain.
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+Dorkness 1 backs up Sugar with an illegal kidney punch! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
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+Sugar pounds Dorkness 1 with a pair of punches to the temple.
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+Dorkness 1 strikes with a volley of strong punches to the head. Sugar ignores it.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 33 of 33 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 10 of 37 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 10-9


Sugar doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 1 doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

-Dorkness 1 throws a pair of right shots to the stomach, but misses.
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+Sugar hits Dorkness 1 with a barrage of punches to the ribs. Dorkness 1 doesn't notice.
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+Sugar hits with a barrage of powerful punches to the stomach.
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+Sugar lands a pair of wild punches to the solar plexus.
-Dorkness 1 lunges with a pair of right combinations to the ribs, but Sugar covers himself well.
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+Dorkness 1 drills Sugar with a series of hard combinations to the chest.
+Sugar punches Dorkness 1 with a volley of stiff blows to the solar plexus.
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+Sugar hits with a barrage of loud combinations to the solar plexus.
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+Sugar belts Dorkness 1 with a pair of nice punches to the chest.
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+Dorkness 1 hits Sugar with a pair of loud combinations to the ribs. Sugar laughs!
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-Dorkness 1 tries a barrage of right combinations to the solar plexus, but flails uselessly.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 28 of 31 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 10 of 24 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 20-18


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 3

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

+Sugar tags Dorkness 1 with a flurry of nice punches to the stomach.
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+Sugar suprises Dorkness 1 with a barrage of strong punches to the chest.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a combination to the solar plexus, but flails uselessly.
+Dorkness 1 hits with a roundhouse to the stomach.
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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a volley of punches to the stomach, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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-Dorkness 1 paws a volley of punches to the solar plexus, but fails to score.
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+Sugar attacks with a barrage of painful punches to the stomach!
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+Sugar attacks with a series of punches to the ribs!
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+Sugar attacks with a pair of solid punches to the ribs.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 26 of 33 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 9 of 23 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 30-27


Sugar grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 4

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

-Dorkness 1 throws a flurry of right combinations to the ribs, but Sugar covers himself well.
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+Sugar pummels Dorkness 1 with a powerful right to the temple.
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-Dorkness 1 tries a barrage of punches to the ribs, but loses his balance.
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-Dorkness 1 throws a jab to the ribs, but falls short.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a pair of combinations to the ribs, but Sugar quickly backs away.
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+Dorkness 1 hits with a pair of combinations to the ribs. Sugar covers up.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 7 of 26 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 39-37


Sugar grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 5

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar wakes up the fans with a flurry of punches to the solar plexus.
+Sugar punches Dorkness 1 with a series of mean punches to the ribs. Dorkness 1 shakes his head to clear it.
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-Sugar tries a volley of left punches to the stomach, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a pair of combinations to the chest, but Sugar covers himself well.
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+Sugar tattoos Dorkness 1 with a pair of off balance punches to the chest.
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+Dorkness 1 punches Sugar with a barrage of combinations to the stomach!
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-Dorkness 1 tries a pair of right shots to the chest, but Sugar covers himself well.
-Dorkness 1 tries to land a series of right combinations to the chest, but Sugar takes it in the forearms.
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+Sugar punches Dorkness 1 with a pair of combinations to the chest.
+Sugar takes charge with a flurry of punches to the chest! Dorkness 1 sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 26 of 33 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 22 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 49-46


Sugar grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 6

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a left cross to the stomach, but only hits air.
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+Sugar tosses a pair of quick combinations to the chest.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a right combination to the ribs, but Sugar ducks just in time.
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-Dorkness 1 charges with a straight right to the stomach, but he's too slow.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 7 of 26 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 58-56


Sugar grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 7

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 tries to land a volley of combinations to the ribs, but comes up empty.
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-Sugar throws a barrage of punches to the chest, but to no avail.
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+Sugar throws a cross to the solar plexus.
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+Sugar hits with a barrage of furious punches to the solar plexus. Dorkness 1 covers up.
-Dorkness 1 paws a pair of right combinations to the chest, but Sugar escapes.
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+Sugar throws a painful cross to the stomach. Dorkness 1 hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
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+Sugar attacks with a barrage of mean punches to the ribs.
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+Sugar pokes Dorkness 1 with a volley of hard punches to the solar plexus.
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+Dorkness 1 stuns Sugar with a volley of strong punches to the solar plexus.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a pair of combinations to the ribs, but Sugar steps aside and laughs.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 21 of 34 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 22 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 68-65


Sugar is obviously tired.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 8

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a pair of left combinations to the stomach, but Sugar stays away from it.
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+Sugar hammers Dorkness 1 with a series of wild punches to the face. Dorkness 1 sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a volley of punches to the chest, but fails to score.
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+Dorkness 1 lands a pair of light punches to the stomach.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 7 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 7 of 24 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 77-75


Sugar is obviously tired.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 9

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

-Sugar fires a pair of combinations to the head, but falls short.
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+Sugar pokes Dorkness 1 with a furious right to the chin.
-Dorkness 1 tries to land a pair of left punches to the stomach, but Sugar ducks just in time.
-Dorkness 1 attempts a volley of left combinations to the chest, but loses his balance.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a pair of left punches to the chest, but Sugar steps aside.
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+Dorkness 1 pounds Sugar with a flurry of combinations to the stomach.
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+Sugar hammers Dorkness 1 with a barrage of wild punches to the head. Dorkness 1 laughs!
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+Sugar annoys Dorkness 1 with a flurry of heavy punches to the mouth. Dorkness 1 quickly recovers.
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+Sugar tags Dorkness 1 with a flurry of solid punches to the temple.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 24 of 31 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 10 of 24 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 87-84


Sugar is obviously tired.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 10

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar tattoos Dorkness 1 with a barrage of stiff punches to the nose!! Dorkness 1 laughs!
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-Sugar attempts a volley of combinations to the jaw, but Dorkness 1 covers himself well.
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+Sugar clocks Dorkness 1 with a glancing cross to the head.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a pair of left punches to the ribs, but he's too slow.
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-Dorkness 1 throws a barrage of left punches to the chest, but misses.
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+Dorkness 1 lashes out with a volley of vicious punches to the stomach.
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-Sugar attempts a flurry of punches to the eye, but he's too slow.
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+Sugar shakes Dorkness 1 with a nice roundhouse to the mouth.
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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a flurry of combinations to the ribs, but only hits air.
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+Sugar shakes Dorkness 1 with a jab to the jaw!!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 24 of 32 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 10 of 24 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 97-93


Sugar is slowing down.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 11

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Dorkness 1 hits with a volley of punches to the stomach!!
-Dorkness 1 attacks with a barrage of combinations to the ribs, but misses completely.
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a jab to the solar plexus, but Sugar blocks.
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-Sugar fires a series of punches to the jaw, but Dorkness 1 escapes.
+Dorkness 1 staggers Sugar with a flurry of loud combinations to the chest. Sugar ignores it.
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-Sugar fires a volley of right combinations to the eye, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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+Sugar suprises Dorkness 1 with a series of glancing punches to the chin.
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+Sugar wallops Dorkness 1 with a powerful straight right to the chin.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 20 of 29 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 10 of 24 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 107-102


Sugar is slowing down.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 12

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar hits with Dorkness 1 with a low blow! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
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+Dorkness 1 lands a flurry of quick punches to the nose. Sugar sneers "Is that the best you can do?"
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+Dorkness 1 hits with a volley of punches to the chin!!
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+Dorkness 1 jars Sugar with a pair of quick combinations to the jaw!!
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a barrage of combinations to the head, but misses.
-Dorkness 1 throws a volley of punches to the mouth, but misses completely.
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+Dorkness 1 lashes out with Sugar with a head butt! That was totally uncalled for!
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-Dorkness 1 charges with a left roundhouse to the head, but Sugar takes it in the forearms.
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-Dorkness 1 tries to land a volley of punches to the eye, but flails uselessly.
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+Sugar smashes Dorkness 1 with a barrage of shots to the temple.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 7 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 12 of 40 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 116-112


Sugar is slowing down.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 10: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 11: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 12: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9

Total Score: Sugar Ray Cahn 116-112


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 10: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 11: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 12: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9

Total Score: Sugar Ray Cahn 116-112


Oscar De La Hoya scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 10: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 11: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 12: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9

Total Score: Sugar Ray Cahn 116-112

Sugar Ray Cahn wins by decision!