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Public Fight Report

(Toughman) Tha Next Big Thing defeated Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt by unanimous decision: 40-32, 40-32, 40-32.

Match Saturday, February 22, 2020

In this corner, standing 9 feet and 1 inch (277 centimeters) tall weighing in at 999 pounds (453 kilograms) is Tha Next Big Thing!!

In this corner, standing 8 feet(244 centimeters) tall weighing in at 692 pounds (314 kilograms) is Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt!!

The referee for this bout will be Mitch Halpern.

ROUND 1

Thing stays outside and uses his jab.
Noodle stays outside and fires rat-a-tat jabs.

+Noodle solidly lands a volley of vicious punches to the face!
+Noodle pokes Thing with a flurry of punches to the jaw.
+Noodle hits Thing with a series of glancing punches to the eye.
...
+Noodle hammers Thing with a powerful cross to the mouth.
...
...
-Noodle probes with a flurry of punches to the head, but he's too slow.
+Noodle solidly lands a series of off balance punches to the mouth.
...
...
+Thing rocks Noodle with a barrage of punches to the jaw.
Thing lands a mighty right smash to the jaw and Noodle goes over backwards!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE
Noodle struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
+Noodle backs up Thing with a flurry of punches to the jaw.
...
...
-Thing attacks with a flurry of punches to the face, but is ineffective.
-Thing tries to land a jab to the face, but Noodle deftly avoits it.
+Thing hits with a volley of punches to the chin.
...
...
...
...
+Noodle hammers Thing with a flurry of furious punches to the stomach. Thing is hurt!
+Noodle lashes out with a barrage of punches to the eye.
...
...
...
+Thing backs up Noodle with a powerful roundhouse to the jaw.
-Noodle tries a left straight right to the chest, but goes wide.
+Noodle clocks Thing with a pair of light punches to the head.
+Noodle stuns Thing with a barrage of painful punches to the nose. Thing retreats to the far corner.
...
+Noodle thumps Thing with a flurry of solid punches to the nose.
+Noodle punches Thing with a nasty straight right to the nose. Thing sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
...
+Noodle hammers Thing with a flurry of punches to the solar plexus!
...
...
-Noodle tries a volley of punches to the nose, but Thing quickly backs away.
+Noodle connects with a series of painful punches to the eye.
+Noodle whacks Thing with a flurry of heavy punches to the nose.
...
+Noodle throws a jab to the chest!
-Noodle tries to land a series of left punches to the chin, but Thing takes it in the forearms.
...

BELL

According to the commentator:

Tha Next Big Thing landed 9 of 24 punches, and Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 61 of 93 punches.

Tha Next Big Thing won the round 10-8

Tha Next Big Thing is winning the fight 10-8


Thing doesn't even want to rest!

Noodle remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has a fractured nose.



ROUND 2

Thing stays outside and uses his jab.
Noodle stays outside and fires rat-a-tat jabs.

+Noodle takes charge with a barrage of heavy punches to the eye!
-Noodle tries a straight right to the temple, but flails uselessly.
-Noodle probes with a series of right punches to the eye, but to no avail.
-Noodle attempts a series of punches to the nose, but Thing blocks.
-Noodle throws a series of right punches to the face, but comes up empty.
...
...
-Noodle attempts a barrage of right punches to the chin, but Thing stays away from it.
...
+Noodle smashes Thing with a flurry of shots to the head. Thing sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
+Noodle grazes Thing with a volley of loud punches to the solar plexus.
...
+Noodle hurts Thing with a painful cross to the chin. Thing falls against the ropes!
-Noodle attacks with a pair of left blows to the temple, but Thing leaps aside.
-Thing charges with a right roundhouse to the mouth, but Noodle quickly backs away.
+Noodle throws a pair of vicious punches to the chest.
...
-Noodle probes with a series of right punches to the nose, but Thing escapes.
-Thing probes with a volley of right punches to the face, but Noodle deftly avoits it.
...
...
+Noodle lands a pair of glancing punches to the mouth.
...
...
...
-Noodle throws a volley of punches to the head, but flails uselessly.
...
-Thing probes with a barrage of right punches to the mouth, but fails to score.
...
...
...
+Noodle fires a flurry of punches to the nose.
...
...
+Noodle annoys Thing with a pair of mean punches to the temple.
-Noodle paws a flurry of punches to the temple, but Thing ducks.
...
...
-Noodle tries to land a flurry of right blows to the head, but comes up empty.
-Noodle attempts a series of left punches to the chin, but goes wide.
+Thing annoys Noodle with a series of punches to the eye.
Thing lands a lightning right haymaker and Noodle is knocked off his feet!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN
Noodle struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
+Noodle drills Thing with a pair of light punches to the eye. Thing laughs!
...
...
+Thing hits with a volley of nasty punches to the mouth.

BELL

According to the commentator:

Tha Next Big Thing landed 8 of 23 punches, and Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 47 of 95 punches.

Tha Next Big Thing won the round 10-8

Tha Next Big Thing is winning the fight 20-16


Thing doesn't even want to rest!

Noodle grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool. He has minor cut above the right eye. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has a fractured nose.



ROUND 3

Thing stays outside and uses his jab.
Noodle stays outside and fires rat-a-tat jabs.

+Noodle hits with a volley of stiff punches to the jaw!
+Noodle lashes out with a commanding cross to the solar plexus.
...
-Noodle tries to land a pair of punches to the chin, but is ineffective.
...
-Thing throws a right jab to the eye, but Noodle ties him up.
-Noodle fires a pair of punches to the temple, but Thing hides behind his gloves.
-Noodle attempts a flurry of right punches to the jaw, but Thing blocks.
-Noodle paws a pair of left punches to the stomach, but Thing covers himself well.
...
...
...
+Noodle slams Thing with a barrage of painful punches to the ribs.
...
...
+Noodle hits with a flurry of mean punches to the stomach! Thing falls against the ropes!
...
...
...
-Noodle attempts a pair of left punches to the mouth, but falls short.
-Noodle attacks with a jab to the head, but Thing stays away from it.
+Thing connects with a sweeping right to the face.
Thing lands a brutal right uppercut and Noodle is flattened!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE
Noodle struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
+Noodle hits with a flurry of stinging punches to the temple!!
+Noodle belts Thing with a barrage of solid punches to the face. Thing quickly recovers.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
+Noodle lands a jab to the chest.
+Noodle tattoos Thing with a barrage of punches to the mouth.
...
-Noodle fires a pair of left punches to the ribs, but Thing ducks.
...
...
-Thing throws a series of punches to the chin, but Noodle narrowly avoids it
-Noodle attempts a jab to the chin, but misses completely.
...
+Noodle fires a series of stiff punches to the jaw. Thing backpedals to his own corner.
...
+Thing backs up Noodle with a volley of strong punches to the head!
...
...

BELL

According to the commentator:

Tha Next Big Thing landed 9 of 25 punches, and Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 33 of 87 punches.

Tha Next Big Thing won the round 10-8

Tha Next Big Thing is winning the fight 30-24


Thing remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Noodle is slowing down. He has cut above the right eye. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has a fractured nose.



ROUND 4

Thing stays outside and uses his jab.
Noodle stays outside and fires rat-a-tat jabs.

-Noodle fires a flurry of punches to the stomach, but comes up empty.
+Noodle smashes Thing with a volley of punches to the jaw.
-Noodle probes with a pair of left punches to the face, but misses.
...
-Noodle lunges with a pair of punches to the jaw, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
...
+Noodle punches Thing with a hard jab to the chest.
-Noodle launches a volley of left punches to the jaw, but only hits air.
...
-Noodle tries a flurry of left punches to the mouth, but misses completely.
...
...
+Noodle strikes with a series of furious punches to the jaw.
...
-Noodle tries to land a pair of punches to the eye, but Thing hides behind his gloves.
...
...
...
...
-Noodle charges with a volley of right punches to the face, but Thing escapes.
+Noodle nails Thing with a barrage of solid blows to the chin.
-Noodle lashes out with a barrage of punches to the solar plexus, but Thing steps aside and laughs.
-Noodle lashes out with a pair of right punches to the head, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
...
-Noodle attempts a pair of left punches to the ribs, but Thing narrowly avoids it
+Thing hits with a barrage of nasty punches to the temple.
Thing lands a vicious left haymaker and Noodle goes over backwards!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN
Noodle struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
-Noodle probes with a flurry of punches to the head, but misses completely.
...
...
+Thing tosses a barrage of solid punches to the chin!!
...
-Noodle lashes out with a volley of left punches to the chin, but fails to score.
...
...
-Thing tries to land a barrage of right punches to the mouth, but Noodle backs out of it.
-Noodle charges with a series of left punches to the eye, but to no avail.
...
+Noodle scores with a barrage of punches to the face.
...
...
-Thing probes with a volley of punches to the mouth, but only hits air.
...
...
...
...

BELL

According to the commentator:

Tha Next Big Thing landed 11 of 23 punches, and Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 25 of 83 punches.

Tha Next Big Thing won the round 10-8

Tha Next Big Thing is winning the fight 40-32


Thing remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Noodle looks exhausted. He has cut above the right eye. He has minor cut above the left eye. He has minor cut below the right eye. He has a fractured nose. He has a bloody mouth.




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8
Round 2: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8
Round 3: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8
Round 4: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8

Total Score: Tha Next Big Thing 40-32


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8
Round 2: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8
Round 3: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8
Round 4: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8

Total Score: Tha Next Big Thing 40-32


Larry Holmes scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8
Round 2: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8
Round 3: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8
Round 4: Tha Next Big Thing 10-8

Total Score: Tha Next Big Thing 40-32

Tha Next Big Thing wins by decision!