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Public Fight Report

(Toughman) Big Lurch defeated Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt by unanimous decision: 39-38, 40-38, 39-37.

Match Saturday, September 14, 2019

In this corner, standing 8 feet(244 centimeters) tall weighing in at 646 pounds (293 kilograms) is Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt!!

In this corner, standing 8 feet(244 centimeters) tall weighing in at 569 pounds (258 kilograms) is Big Lurch!!

The referee for this bout will be Jay Nady.

ROUND 1

Noodle grabs his opponent and pounds him. (clinching)
Lurch is using the ring. (using the ring)

+Lurch connects with a volley of blows to the nose.
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+Lurch hurts Noodle with a flurry of stiff punches to the eye. Noodle seems wobbly!
-Noodle throws a series of punches to the head, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Noodle tries to land a volley of punches to the head, but he's too slow.
+Lurch throws a flurry of powerful blows to the face.
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+Lurch hits with a barrage of painful punches to the head.
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+Lurch hits with a series of nice shots to the nose. Noodle laughs!
+Lurch hurts Noodle with a series of punches to the head.
+Lurch rocks Noodle with a barrage of punches to the temple.
Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Lurch connects with a flurry of solid blows to the chin.
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+Lurch throws a powerful straight right to the mouth.
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+Lurch staggers Noodle with a off balance roundhouse to the mouth.
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+Lurch throws a volley of punches to the head. Noodle seems wobbly!
+Lurch fires a hard straight right to the jaw! Noodle seems wobbly!
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+Lurch wakes up the fans with a flurry of punches to the jaw.
+Lurch thumps Noodle with a nasty straight right to the face. Noodle beats a hasty retreat.
+Lurch pokes Noodle with a volley of punches to the face.
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+Lurch lands a series of powerful punches to the face.
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-Noodle probes with a pair of right punches to the mouth, but Lurch steps aside and laughs.
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+Lurch tags Noodle with a mean cross to the head.
+Noodle pokes Lurch with a flurry of hard shots to the chin.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 10 of 23 punches, and Big Lurch landed 71 of 75 punches.

Big Lurch won the round 10-9

Big Lurch is winning the fight 10-9


Noodle doesn't want to stop fighting!

Lurch doesn't even want to rest! He has minor cut below the right eye.



ROUND 2

Noodle clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Lurch is using the ring. (using the ring)

-Noodle tries a barrage of left blows to the chin, but misses.
+Lurch staggers Noodle with a flurry of punches to the temple.
+Lurch pummels Noodle with a nasty jab to the chin! Noodle shakes his head to clear it.
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-Noodle lashes out with a flurry of right shots to the chin, but Lurch deftly avoits it.
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Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Noodle throws a flurry of shots to the head, but Lurch ducks.
-Noodle lashes out with a flurry of left blows to the mouth, but only hits air.
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+Lurch smashes Noodle with a nice jab to the eye.
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-Lurch lashes out with a flurry of blows to the mouth, but only hits air.
+Lurch hits with a flurry of blows to the nose.
-Noodle paws a barrage of left punches to the eye, but only hits air.
Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Noodle annoys Lurch with a series of hard punches to the chest.
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+ The fighters trade punches to the temple.
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Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Noodle lunges with a right hook to the solar plexus, but flails uselessly.
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-Noodle probes with a jab to the head, but loses his balance.
+Lurch wakes up the fans with a flurry of punches to the head. Noodle doesn't notice.
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Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Noodle nails Lurch with a flurry of vicious punches to the jaw.
+Noodle strikes with a barrage of vicious punches to the head. Lurch sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
-Lurch throws a flurry of punches to the eye, but falls short.
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+Lurch throws a volley of nice punches to the chin. Noodle quickly recovers.
+Noodle hits Lurch with a series of punches to the head. Lurch sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 28 of 69 punches, and Big Lurch landed 31 of 41 punches.

Big Lurch won the round 10-9

Big Lurch is winning the fight 20-18


Noodle doesn't even want to rest!

Lurch doesn't even want to rest! He has minor cut below the right eye.



ROUND 3

Noodle grabs his opponent and pounds him. (clinching)
Lurch is using the ring. (using the ring)

+Lurch hits Noodle with a barrage of solid punches to the nose.
Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Lurch lands a off balance sweeping right to the temple.
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Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Lurch jars Noodle with a barrage of punches to the face.
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+Noodle drills Lurch with a series of solid blows to the face.
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+Lurch tags Noodle with a flurry of wild punches to the face.
+Lurch pops Noodle with a flurry of commanding punches to the head. Noodle quickly recovers.
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+Lurch fires a barrage of off balance punches to the eye.
-Noodle lashes out with a barrage of punches to the head, but fails to score.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 9 of 24 punches, and Big Lurch landed 41 of 41 punches.

Big Lurch won the round 10-9

Big Lurch is winning the fight 30-27


Noodle remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Lurch remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has minor cut below the right eye.



ROUND 4

Noodle flails at his opponent and ties him up. (clinching)
Lurch is using the ring. (using the ring)

+Lurch annoys Noodle with a barrage of punches to the nose. Noodle covers up.
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-Noodle throws a flurry of left blows to the eye, but fails to score.
+Noodle fires a pair of off balance shots to the ribs. Lurch doesn't seem bothered.
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Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Lurch tags Noodle with a series of shots to the temple. Noodle seems wobbly!
-Noodle lashes out with a pair of left shots to the solar plexus, but comes up empty.
+Noodle throws a flurry of blows to the stomach.
+Lurch pokes Noodle with a series of punches to the nose.
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Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Noodle attempts a volley of left shots to the ribs, but only hits air.
-Noodle tries a pair of shots to the face, but misses completely.
Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.

+Lurch throws a barrage of loud shots to the mouth.
+Noodle annoys Lurch with a painful hook to the ribs! Lurch hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
+Lurch pounds Noodle with a volley of glancing punches to the eye!
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+Noodle tosses a series of punches to the face.
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Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
-Noodle paws a flurry of punches to the face, but fails to score.
-Noodle tries to land a flurry of blows to the face, but comes up empty.
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Lurch tries to attack, but Noodle hangs on until the referee separates them.
-Noodle probes with a left straight right to the chin, but Lurch beats a hasty retreat.
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-Noodle paws a series of right punches to the stomach, but Lurch steps aside.
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+Noodle smashes Lurch with a series of painful blows to the stomach.
+ The fighters exchange shots to the nose.
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+Noodle wakes up the fans with a pair of blows to the nose. Lurch hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
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+Noodle whacks Lurch with a pair of hard shots to the ribs.
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+Lurch hits with a barrage of vicious punches to the temple. Noodle gets mad!
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-Noodle paws a flurry of punches to the face, but Lurch steps aside and laughs.
+Noodle annoys Lurch with a barrage of stinging shots to the mouth.

BELL

According to the commentator:

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 34 of 87 punches, and Big Lurch landed 31 of 39 punches.

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt won the round 10-9

Big Lurch is winning the fight 39-37


Noodle grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Lurch remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has minor cut below the right eye.




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Big Lurch 10-9
Round 2: A 10-10 tie.
Round 3: Big Lurch 10-9
Round 4: Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt 10-9

Total Score: Big Lurch 39-38


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Big Lurch 10-9
Round 2: A 10-10 tie.
Round 3: Big Lurch 10-9
Round 4: A 10-10 tie.

Total Score: Big Lurch 40-38


Roy Jones Jr scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Big Lurch 10-9
Round 2: Big Lurch 10-9
Round 3: Big Lurch 10-9
Round 4: Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt 10-9

Total Score: Big Lurch 39-37

Big Lurch wins by decision!