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Public Fight Report

(Strawweight) Sugar Ray Cahn defeated Army of Dorkness 1 by disqualification in round 12.

Match Monday, April 8, 2019

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 10 inches (178 centimeters) tall weighing in at 106 pounds (48 kilograms) is Sugar Ray Cahn!!

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 5 inches (135 centimeters) tall weighing in at 95 pounds (43 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 1!!

The referee for this bout will be Mills Lane.

ROUND 1

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar jolts Dorkness 1 with a flurry of punches to the head. Dorkness 1 is hurt!
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a volley of punches to the head, but Sugar narrowly avoids it
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+Dorkness 1 lashes out with a volley of stiff combinations to the temple!
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+Dorkness 1 annoys Sugar with an elbow! The audience is howling!
-Dorkness 1 throws a straight right to the jaw, but Sugar covers himself well.
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+Sugar suprises Dorkness 1 with a series of heavy punches to the eye.
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+Sugar smashes Dorkness 1 with a straight right to the jaw.
-Dorkness 1 tries to land a volley of left punches to the nose, but is ineffective.
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+Sugar lands a hard jab to the nose. Dorkness 1 retreats to the far corner.
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+Sugar hits with a pair of glancing punches to the face.
+Dorkness 1 connects with a barrage of combinations to the nose.
+Sugar throws a barrage of punches to the face.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 30 of 30 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 13 of 32 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 10-9


Sugar doesn't want to stop fighting!

Dorkness 1 doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar nails Dorkness 1 with a flurry of wild combinations to the ribs.
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+Dorkness 1 tattoos Sugar with a volley of commanding combinations to the ribs.
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-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a barrage of left punches to the chest, but is ineffective.
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+Sugar hits Dorkness 1 with a pair of glancing punches to the ribs.
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+Sugar fires a flurry of punches to the stomach.
-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a barrage of left combinations to the ribs, but only hits air.
-Dorkness 1 attempts a flurry of combinations to the stomach, but to no avail.
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+Sugar hits with a series of punches to the chest.
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+Sugar pounds Dorkness 1 with a jab to the stomach.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 28 of 31 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 7 of 22 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 20-18


Sugar doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 1 doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 3

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

+Dorkness 1 wallops Sugar with a pair of mean combinations to the stomach.
-Dorkness 1 charges with a right straight right to the ribs, but misses completely.
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+Sugar smashes Dorkness 1 with a pair of solid punches to the chest.
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-Dorkness 1 throws a volley of left punches to the solar plexus, but Sugar blocks.
+Sugar wakes up the fans with a series of punches to the stomach!
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-Sugar lunges with a right jab to the stomach, but he's too slow.
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+Sugar pops Dorkness 1 with a series of stiff punches to the stomach.
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+Sugar connects with a volley of hard combinations to the ribs!! Dorkness 1 covers up.
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-Dorkness 1 attacks with a flurry of right combinations to the solar plexus, but Sugar narrowly avoids it
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+Sugar annoys Dorkness 1 with a barrage of hard punches to the solar plexus!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 29 of 33 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 25 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 30-27


Sugar doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 4

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar staggers Dorkness 1 with a barrage of combinations to the temple.
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+Dorkness 1 tosses a series of glancing punches to the solar plexus. Sugar quickly recovers.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a flurry of right combinations to the ribs, but Sugar blocks.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a barrage of combinations to the ribs, but Sugar narrowly avoids it
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-Dorkness 1 launches a volley of punches to the chest, but he's too slow.
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+Sugar hits with a series of nasty combinations to the ribs.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 6 of 25 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 39-37


Sugar doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 5

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar jolts Dorkness 1 with a barrage of combinations to the chest!!
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+Sugar suprises Dorkness 1 with a pair of nasty punches to the solar plexus.
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+Sugar thumps Dorkness 1 with a volley of punches to the chest.
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a pair of punches to the chest, but Sugar hides behind his gloves.
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+Dorkness 1 suprises Sugar with a volley of mean combinations to the solar plexus.
-Dorkness 1 attempts a volley of combinations to the ribs, but Sugar deftly avoits it.
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-Dorkness 1 throws a left jab to the chest, but comes up empty.
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-Sugar lashes out with a series of right punches to the chest, but loses his balance.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 24 of 32 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 25 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 49-46


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 6

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 attempts a pair of left punches to the stomach, but is ineffective.
+Sugar punches Dorkness 1 with a series of hard combinations to the chest.
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-Dorkness 1 tries a barrage of punches to the chest, but only hits air.
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+Dorkness 1 punches Sugar with a pair of powerful combinations to the solar plexus.
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-Dorkness 1 tries to land a flurry of left punches to the chest, but flails uselessly.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 6 of 23 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 58-56


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 7

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Dorkness 1 grazes Sugar with a flurry of vicious punches to the ribs.
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+Sugar nails Dorkness 1 with a barrage of solid punches to the ribs.
+Sugar catches Dorkness 1 with a flurry of heavy punches to the ribs. Dorkness 1 doesn't seem bothered.
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+Sugar catches Dorkness 1 with a volley of punches to the solar plexus. Dorkness 1 sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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-Dorkness 1 launches a volley of punches to the chest, but Sugar blocks.
-Sugar lunges with a barrage of punches to the solar plexus, but flails uselessly.
-Dorkness 1 charges with a flurry of left punches to the chest, but flails uselessly.
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-Dorkness 1 paws a volley of right punches to the solar plexus, but Sugar backs out of it.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 25 of 34 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 7 of 24 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 68-65


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 8

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Dorkness 1 stuns Sugar with a pair of mean punches to the stomach.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a series of right combinations to the ribs, but Sugar hides behind his gloves.
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-Dorkness 1 launches a volley of combinations to the chest, but Sugar ducks just in time.
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-Dorkness 1 launches a left sweeping right to the chest, but Sugar steps aside.
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+Sugar strikes with a pair of off balance punches to the head.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 6 of 23 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 77-75


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 9

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar tosses a jab to the nose!
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-Dorkness 1 paws a volley of punches to the ribs, but only hits air.
+Dorkness 1 attacks with a solid straight right to the stomach. Sugar seems wobbly!
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-Sugar attempts a flurry of combinations to the face, but Dorkness 1 quickly backs away.
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+Sugar suprises Dorkness 1 with a pair of stinging punches to the eye. Dorkness 1 asks for time to wipe off the blood.
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+Sugar pummels Dorkness 1 with a series of heavy punches to the eye.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a flurry of combinations to the chest, but Sugar ties him up.
-Dorkness 1 fires a volley of combinations to the solar plexus, but comes up empty.
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+Sugar pokes Dorkness 1 with a series of punches to the temple. Dorkness 1 doesn't notice.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 23 of 33 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 24 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 87-84


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 10

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar pummels Dorkness 1 with a stiff jab to the temple.
-Sugar charges with a pair of punches to the head, but goes wide.
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+Sugar hits with a volley of hard punches to the face.
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-Dorkness 1 attempts a barrage of left combinations to the solar plexus, but Sugar quickly backs away.
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+Dorkness 1 lashes out with a series of combinations to the chest!!
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+Sugar hits with a barrage of nice punches to the head. Dorkness 1 doesn't notice.
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+Sugar wallops Dorkness 1 with a series of strong punches to the chin.
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-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a flurry of right combinations to the ribs, but to no avail.
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+Sugar thumps Dorkness 1 with a barrage of strong punches to the head.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 27 of 35 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 8 of 24 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 97-93


Sugar remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 11

Sugar is using the ring. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Sugar jars Dorkness 1 with a barrage of glancing combinations to the jaw.
-Dorkness 1 probes with a flurry of punches to the stomach, but misses completely.
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+Dorkness 1 shakes Sugar with a barrage of punches to the stomach.
+Sugar backs up Dorkness 1 with a flurry of nice punches to the temple!
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+Sugar tosses a series of combinations to the nose.
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a flurry of right combinations to the stomach, but fails to score.
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-Sugar tries a pair of left punches to the jaw, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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-Sugar throws a pair of left punches to the head, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
+Dorkness 1 lands a flurry of heavy combinations to the chest.
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-Dorkness 1 lunges with a series of right punches to the ribs, but Sugar escapes.

BELL

According to the commentator:

Sugar Ray Cahn landed 23 of 35 punches, and Army of Dorkness 1 landed 9 of 25 punches.

Sugar Ray Cahn won the round 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn is winning the fight 107-102


Sugar grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 12

Sugar is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 1 launches a pair of shots to the temple, but Sugar escapes.
-Dorkness 1 lashes out with a series of combinations to the face, but Sugar ducks.
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+Dorkness 1 jars Sugar with a flurry of combinations to the eye.
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+Dorkness 1 hits with a flurry of powerful combinations to the jaw!!
-Dorkness 1 throws a series of right combinations to the eye, but Sugar ducks.
-Dorkness 1 fires a pair of right combinations to the head, but only hits air.
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+Sugar tags Dorkness 1 with a volley of stinging punches to the chest.
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+Dorkness 1 hits Sugar with a blow to the groin! Sugar Ray Cahn pretends to be injured! He'll get an academy award! The referee halts the bout!
Sugar Ray Cahn wins by forfeit!!
BELL
Sugar grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.






Judge Guimond had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 10: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 11: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9


Judge Leinbach had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 10: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 11: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9


Sean O'Grady had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 2: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 3: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 5: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 7: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 8: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 9: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 10: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9
Round 11: Sugar Ray Cahn 10-9

Sugar Ray Cahn wins by a foul!