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Public Fight Report

(Featherweight) Slim Boy Fat defeated Army of Dorkness 5 by unanimous decision: 116-113, 116-112, 116-112.

Match Wednesday, December 19, 2018

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 7 inches (170 centimeters) tall weighing in at 119 pounds (54 kilograms) is Slim Boy Fat!!

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 9 inches (145 centimeters) tall weighing in at 126 pounds (57 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 5!!

The referee for this bout will be Dalby Shirley.

ROUND 1

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Dorkness 5 throws a jab to the head. Slim sneers "Is that the best you can do?"
+Dorkness 5 hurts Slim with an illegal kidney punch! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
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+Slim hammers Dorkness 5 with a barrage of combinations to the eye. Dorkness 5 shakes his head to clear it.
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-Dorkness 5 attempts a volley of left combinations to the chin, but Slim ties him up.
+Dorkness 5 grazes Slim with a flurry of punches to the chin.
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+Slim connects with a pair of stinging punches to the nose. Dorkness 5 laughs!
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-Dorkness 5 probes with a pair of left combinations to the jaw, but Slim deftly avoits it.
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+Slim throws a barrage of mean punches to the chin.
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+Slim throws a series of stinging punches to the mouth.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 24 of 24 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 18 of 38 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 5 is winning the fight 10-9


Slim doesn't want to stop fighting!

Dorkness 5 doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Slim tags Dorkness 5 with a jab to the head.
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+Dorkness 5 hits with a pair of light punches to the stomach! Slim hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
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-Dorkness 5 attempts a flurry of shots to the solar plexus, but Slim ties him up.
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-Dorkness 5 attempts a left jab to the solar plexus, but to no avail.
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+Dorkness 5 connects with a pair of punches to the ribs.
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+Slim attacks with a loud left to the mouth.
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+Slim suprises Dorkness 5 with a barrage of shots to the mouth.
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+Slim hurts Dorkness 5 with a series of off balance blows to the head.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 22 of 23 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 13 of 24 punches.

This round was a 10-10 tie.

Army of Dorkness 5 is winning the fight 20-19


Slim doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 5 doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 3

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

+Slim hits with a series of stinging punches to the mouth. Dorkness 5 doesn't seem bothered.
+Slim belts Dorkness 5 with a pair of nasty punches to the jaw. Dorkness 5 sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
+Dorkness 5 suprises Slim with a sweeping right to the stomach.
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-Dorkness 5 probes with a series of right combinations to the chest, but he's too slow.
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+Slim lands a volley of punches to the jaw.
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-Dorkness 5 launches a series of left punches to the stomach, but Slim quickly backs away.
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+Slim connects with a volley of nasty combinations to the chin!!
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+Slim hits with a pair of furious punches to the face.
+Dorkness 5 hurts Slim with a series of combinations to the ribs! Slim laughs!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 23 of 24 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 12 of 22 punches.

Slim Boy Fat won the round 10-9

This fight is too close to call.


Slim doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 5 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 4

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Slim connects with a flurry of commanding punches to the stomach.
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+Slim hits Dorkness 5 with a barrage of off balance punches to the stomach.
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+Dorkness 5 scores with a flurry of stiff combinations to the ribs. Slim ignores it.
+Slim pummels Dorkness 5 with a pair of nasty punches to the chest. Dorkness 5 doesn't notice.
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+Dorkness 5 lands a light jab to the ribs. Slim retreats to the far corner.
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-Dorkness 5 launches a series of shots to the chest, but Slim hides behind his gloves.
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+Slim whacks Dorkness 5 with a series of punches to the chest.
+Slim tags Dorkness 5 with a pair of stiff blows to the solar plexus. Dorkness 5 doesn't notice.
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-Dorkness 5 probes with a pair of combinations to the chest, but goes wide.
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+Slim pokes Dorkness 5 with a barrage of glancing punches to the stomach. Dorkness 5 sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 29 of 31 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 12 of 25 punches.

Slim Boy Fat won the round 10-9

Slim Boy Fat is winning the fight 39-38


Slim doesn't even want to rest!

Dorkness 5 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 5

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

+Dorkness 5 thumps Slim with a flurry of wild punches to the chest.
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+Slim whacks Dorkness 5 with a flurry of stiff punches to the solar plexus.
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-Dorkness 5 launches a right right to the ribs, but only hits air.
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+Slim throws a pair of powerful combinations to the stomach.
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+Slim hits with a barrage of nasty punches to the stomach.
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-Dorkness 5 throws a series of right punches to the chest, but Slim quickly backs away.
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+Slim tags Dorkness 5 with a barrage of heavy shots to the solar plexus.
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+Dorkness 5 jolts Slim with a pair of punches to the ribs.
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+Slim rocks Dorkness 5 with a barrage of hard punches to the solar plexus! Dorkness 5 falls against the ropes!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 29 of 33 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 13 of 22 punches.

Slim Boy Fat won the round 10-9

Slim Boy Fat is winning the fight 49-47


Slim remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 5 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 6

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Slim jolts Dorkness 5 with a barrage of vicious punches to the chest!
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+Dorkness 5 hurts Slim with a volley of heavy combinations to the solar plexus!
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+Slim lands a pair of furious punches to the solar plexus!
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-Dorkness 5 lashes out with a series of punches to the solar plexus, but Slim blocks.
-Slim fires a pair of punches to the solar plexus, but Dorkness 5 hides behind his gloves.
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-Dorkness 5 throws a volley of right punches to the ribs, but Slim ducks.
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+Dorkness 5 hits with a flurry of nice combinations to the chest.
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+Slim pops Dorkness 5 with a pair of punches to the chest.
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+Slim drills Dorkness 5 with a series of punches to the solar plexus.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 28 of 32 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 11 of 24 punches.

Slim Boy Fat won the round 10-9

Slim Boy Fat is winning the fight 59-56


Slim remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 5 doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 7

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

+Slim smashes Dorkness 5 with a flurry of combinations to the chest. Dorkness 5 sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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+Slim attacks with a volley of punches to the chest. Dorkness 5 sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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-Dorkness 5 probes with a series of left combinations to the ribs, but loses his balance.
+Slim tags Dorkness 5 with a wild left to the ribs. Dorkness 5 doesn't notice.
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+Slim tosses a barrage of heavy punches to the ribs. Dorkness 5 backpedals to his own corner.
+Dorkness 5 hits Slim with a volley of combinations to the chest!
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+Dorkness 5 wakes up the fans with a pair of combinations to the solar plexus.
-Dorkness 5 charges with a barrage of combinations to the chest, but Slim deftly avoits it.
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-Slim tries a barrage of punches to the solar plexus, but Dorkness 5 beats a hasty retreat.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 25 of 33 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 11 of 25 punches.

Slim Boy Fat won the round 10-9

Slim Boy Fat is winning the fight 69-65


Slim remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 8

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

-Dorkness 5 probes with a volley of left punches to the stomach, but is ineffective.
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+Dorkness 5 fires a barrage of punches to the chest.
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+Dorkness 5 rocks Slim with a volley of commanding punches to the stomach! Slim quickly recovers.
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+Slim clocks Dorkness 5 with a flurry of heavy punches to the head.
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+Slim drills Dorkness 5 with a series of hard combinations to the eye.
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-Dorkness 5 fires a flurry of combinations to the chest, but misses.
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-Slim launches a series of punches to the face, but Dorkness 5 stays away from it.
+Slim thumps Dorkness 5 with a series of punches to the eye.
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+Slim jolts Dorkness 5 with a volley of stiff punches to the head.
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+Slim pops Dorkness 5 with a barrage of punches to the nose.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 25 of 35 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 13 of 24 punches.

Slim Boy Fat won the round 10-9

Slim Boy Fat is winning the fight 79-74


Slim remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 9

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 5 attempts a barrage of punches to the stomach, but he's too slow.
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-Dorkness 5 attacks with a pair of right combinations to the stomach, but Slim ducks.
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+Slim punches Dorkness 5 with a barrage of punches to the head!
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+Dorkness 5 slams Slim with a series of quick combinations to the solar plexus.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 6 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 10 of 22 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Slim Boy Fat is winning the fight 88-84


Slim remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 10

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Dorkness 5 wakes up the fans with a barrage of stinging punches to the ribs. Slim shakes his head to clear it.
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-Dorkness 5 attacks with a barrage of punches to the ribs, but Slim beats a hasty retreat.
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+Slim pokes Dorkness 5 with a series of punches to the chin.
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+Dorkness 5 connects with a series of punches to the chest.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 10 of 25 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Slim Boy Fat is winning the fight 97-94


Slim remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 11

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 5 throws a barrage of punches to the solar plexus, but fails to score.
-Dorkness 5 charges with a pair of punches to the chest, but Slim steps aside and laughs.
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+Dorkness 5 annoys Slim with a barrage of commanding combinations to the chest!
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-Dorkness 5 throws a pair of combinations to the stomach, but he's too slow.
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+Slim tosses a solid jab to the head.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 8 of 23 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Slim Boy Fat is winning the fight 106-104


Slim remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 12

Slim is backpedaling. (using the ring)
Dorkness 5 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Dorkness 5 paws a barrage of right combinations to the temple, but he's too slow.
+Slim nails Dorkness 5 with a series of powerful punches to the nose.
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+Dorkness 5 hits Slim with an illegal kidney punch! How can the TBG commission stand for this behavior?
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+Dorkness 5 shakes Slim with a pair of painful combinations to the nose.
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-Dorkness 5 charges with a pair of combinations to the eye, but Slim beats a hasty retreat.
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+Dorkness 5 tags Slim with a strong jab to the head. Slim asks for time to wipe off the blood.
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-Dorkness 5 attempts a flurry of combinations to the temple, but Slim ducks.
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-Dorkness 5 paws a pair of left punches to the chin, but falls short.
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+Dorkness 5 lands a stiff straight right to the head. Slim shakes his head to clear it.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Slim Boy Fat landed 8 of 8 punches, and Army of Dorkness 5 landed 18 of 43 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Slim Boy Fat is winning the fight 115-114


Slim remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 2: A 10-10 tie.
Round 3: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 4: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 5: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 6: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 7: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 8: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 9: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 10: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 11: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 12: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9

Total Score: Slim Boy Fat 116-113


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 2: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 3: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 4: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 5: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 6: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 7: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 8: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 9: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 10: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 11: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 12: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9

Total Score: Slim Boy Fat 116-112


Sean O'Grady scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 2: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 3: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 4: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 5: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 6: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 7: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 8: Slim Boy Fat 10-9
Round 9: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 10: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 11: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 12: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9

Total Score: Slim Boy Fat 116-112

Slim Boy Fat wins by decision!