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Public Fight Report

(Toughman) Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt and Big John's Ale fought to a majority decision draw: 37-39, 38-38, 38-38.

Match Saturday, August 25, 2018

In this corner, standing 8 feet(244 centimeters) tall weighing in at 539 pounds (244 kilograms) is Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt!!

In this corner, standing 9 feet and 3 inches (282 centimeters) tall weighing in at 774 pounds (351 kilograms) is Big John's Ale!!

The referee for this bout will be Joe Cortez.

ROUND 1

Noodle stays outside and uses his jab.
Big John's Ale stays outside and throws solid jabs.

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-Noodle throws a right hook to the solar plexus, but Big John's Ale beats a hasty retreat.
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-Big John's Ale throws a right left to the temple, but flails uselessly.
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+Big John's Ale wallops Noodle with a pair of punches to the eye.
+Noodle fires a barrage of nice punches to the head.
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-Big John's Ale attempts a pair of right punches to the eye, but Noodle ties him up.
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+Noodle punches Big John's Ale with a pair of punches to the face.
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+Noodle drills Big John's Ale with a barrage of stinging punches to the stomach.
-Noodle paws a barrage of punches to the chin, but Big John's Ale ties him up.
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+Noodle punches Big John's Ale with a jab to the chin. Big John's Ale beats a hasty retreat.
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+Big John's Ale strikes with a series of loud punches to the eye.
+Noodle hammers Big John's Ale with a vicious jab to the ribs.
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+Big John's Ale annoys Noodle with a volley of punches to the nose.
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-Noodle tries a series of left punches to the ribs, but Big John's Ale blocks.
+Noodle hits Big John's Ale with a barrage of punches to the chin. Big John's Ale covers up.
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-Noodle tries to land a barrage of punches to the temple, but Big John's Ale ducks just in time.
+ The fighters exchange punches to the nose.
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+Noodle pounds Big John's Ale with a nice sweeping right to the head.
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+Big John's Ale fires a barrage of powerful punches to the nose. Noodle sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 38 of 67 punches, and Big John's Ale landed 30 of 36 punches.

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt won the round 10-9

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt is winning the fight 10-9


Noodle doesn't even want to rest!

Big John's Ale doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 2

Noodle stays outside and uses his jab.
Big John's Ale stays outside and throws solid jabs.

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+ The fighters exchange punches to the temple.
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+Noodle stuns Big John's Ale with a series of punches to the chin.
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+Noodle punches Big John's Ale with a volley of light shots to the eye. Big John's Ale ignores it.
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-Noodle paws a series of left punches to the chest, but Big John's Ale narrowly avoids it
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-Big John's Ale charges with a series of punches to the jaw, but Noodle covers himself well.
+Noodle scores with a barrage of punches to the stomach. Big John's Ale backpedals to his own corner.
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-Noodle attacks with a pair of right blows to the mouth, but Big John's Ale narrowly avoids it
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+Noodle hits with a pair of punches to the eye. Big John's Ale laughs!
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+Big John's Ale attacks with a volley of mean punches to the temple.
+Big John's Ale annoys Noodle with a jab to the head!
+Noodle fires a jab to the mouth.
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+Noodle attacks with a pair of commanding punches to the mouth!! Big John's Ale beats a hasty retreat.
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+Big John's Ale hurts Noodle with a flurry of mean punches to the nose.
-Noodle tries to land a volley of left punches to the face, but goes wide.
+Noodle connects with a pair of wild punches to the solar plexus. Big John's Ale doesn't seem bothered.
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+Noodle annoys Big John's Ale with a volley of quick punches to the eye!
-Noodle launches a barrage of left punches to the temple, but flails uselessly.
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+Big John's Ale thumps Noodle with a pair of nice punches to the chin.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 39 of 70 punches, and Big John's Ale landed 31 of 41 punches.

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt won the round 10-9

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt is winning the fight 20-18


Noodle remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has swelling above the left eye.

Big John's Ale doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 3

Noodle stays outside and uses his jab.
Big John's Ale stays outside and throws solid jabs.

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-Noodle attempts a series of right punches to the mouth, but he's too slow.
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-Big John's Ale attempts a pair of punches to the temple, but comes up empty.
-Noodle probes with a barrage of right punches to the chest, but Big John's Ale steps aside.
+Noodle hits Big John's Ale with a volley of punches to the solar plexus!!
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+Big John's Ale throws a volley of loud punches to the chin!!
-Noodle launches a volley of punches to the solar plexus, but is ineffective.
+Big John's Ale whacks Noodle with a series of punches to the mouth.
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+Noodle lands a barrage of light punches to the temple! Big John's Ale is hurt!
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+ The fighters exchange punches to the temple.
-Noodle probes with a barrage of punches to the mouth, but loses his balance.
+Big John's Ale connects with a barrage of painful punches to the eye.
-Noodle fires a flurry of left punches to the nose, but Big John's Ale deftly avoits it.
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+Noodle tags Big John's Ale with a pair of loud punches to the chin.
+Noodle throws a barrage of hard punches to the temple.
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+Big John's Ale connects with a barrage of punches to the jaw.
+Big John's Ale hits with a flurry of punches to the face.
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+Noodle grazes Big John's Ale with a nasty jab to the jaw.
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+Big John's Ale slams Noodle with a barrage of glancing punches to the head!
+Noodle punches Big John's Ale with a glancing jab to the face.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 29 of 69 punches, and Big John's Ale landed 34 of 37 punches.

Big John's Ale won the round 10-9

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt is winning the fight 29-28


Noodle grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool. He has swelling above the left eye.

Big John's Ale remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 4

Noodle stays outside and uses his jab.
Big John's Ale stays outside and throws solid jabs.

-Noodle probes with a barrage of punches to the stomach, but Big John's Ale steps aside and laughs.
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+Big John's Ale drills Noodle with a barrage of stiff punches to the chin. Noodle sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
-Noodle lashes out with a roundhouse to the solar plexus, but misses completely.
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+Noodle lands a flurry of commanding punches to the solar plexus. Big John's Ale doesn't notice.
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-Big John's Ale fires a flurry of right punches to the mouth, but Noodle narrowly avoids it
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+Noodle backs up Big John's Ale with a volley of loud punches to the chest.
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+Big John's Ale punches Noodle with a pair of punches to the face. Noodle seems wobbly!
+Big John's Ale lands a pair of glancing punches to the face. Noodle gets mad!
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-Noodle probes with a barrage of right punches to the ribs, but Big John's Ale stays away from it.
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+Big John's Ale hammers Noodle with a barrage of glancing punches to the eye!!
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+Noodle hammers Big John's Ale with a series of stinging punches to the mouth.
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-Noodle launches a barrage of left punches to the head, but only hits air.
+Noodle clocks Big John's Ale with a series of punches to the mouth. Big John's Ale sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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-Noodle fires a flurry of punches to the face, but is ineffective.
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+Noodle jars Big John's Ale with a series of blows to the face.
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+ The fighters swap punches to the mouth.
-Noodle charges with a left to the jaw, but to no avail.
+Noodle smacks Big John's Ale with a volley of painful punches to the mouth.
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+Big John's Ale lands a hard sweeping right to the temple!!
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+Big John's Ale annoys Noodle with a pair of strong punches to the mouth.

BELL

According to the commentator:

Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt landed 26 of 69 punches, and Big John's Ale landed 32 of 40 punches.

Big John's Ale won the round 10-9

This fight is too close to call.


Noodle is obviously tired. He has swelling above the left eye.

Big John's Ale remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt 10-9
Round 2: Big John's Ale 10-9
Round 3: Big John's Ale 10-9
Round 4: Big John's Ale 10-9

Total Score: Big John's Ale 39-37


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt 10-9
Round 2: Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt 10-9
Round 3: Big John's Ale 10-9
Round 4: Big John's Ale 10-9

Total Score: A Draw.

Oscar De La Hoya scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt 10-9
Round 2: Limp "Noodle" Lardbutt 10-9
Round 3: Big John's Ale 10-9
Round 4: Big John's Ale 10-9

Total Score: A Draw.
The bout is declared a draw!