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(Super-Lightweight) Pissy Panty Piss Drinker defeated Samuel River by unanimous decision: 120-108, 120-108, 120-108.

Match Thursday, March 8, 2018

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 9 inches (175 centimeters) tall weighing in at 137 pounds (62 kilograms) is Pissy Panty Piss Drinker!!

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 5 inches (165 centimeters) tall weighing in at 137 pounds (62 kilograms) is Samuel River!!

The referee for this bout will be Mills Lane.

ROUND 1

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

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+River pummels Drinker with a pair of blows to the nose!
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-River lunges with a flurry of shots to the head, but Drinker steps aside and laughs.
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-River fires a flurry of left blows to the face, but comes up empty.
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+Drinker pummels River with a volley of blows to the eye.
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-River probes with a barrage of punches to the jaw, but flails uselessly.
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-River attempts a series of right shots to the face, but Drinker deftly avoits it.
+River connects with a series of glancing blows to the stomach.
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+River hits with Drinker with an elbow! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 8 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 10 of 38 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 10-9


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

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+River stuns Drinker with a volley of light shots to the mouth.
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-River lashes out with a pair of left shots to the head, but Drinker ties him up.
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+Drinker hits with a series of stinging punches to the temple.
-River launches a barrage of right blows to the jaw, but Drinker ties him up.
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-River charges with a left hook to the face, but Drinker hides behind his gloves.
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-River probes with a left roundhouse to the head, but Drinker blocks.
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-River throws a volley of shots to the chest, but Drinker ducks.
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-River lunges with a pair of blows to the stomach, but comes up empty.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 8 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 9 of 39 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 20-18


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 3

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

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+River hammers Drinker with a barrage of punches to the temple.
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-River tries to land a pair of blows to the temple, but fails to score.
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-River probes with a volley of left blows to the eye, but misses completely.
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-River throws a volley of left punches to the nose, but Drinker ties him up.
-River attempts a flurry of right blows to the ribs, but falls short.
+River tags Drinker with a series of punches to the nose.
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-River charges with a volley of right shots to the chin, but he's too slow.
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+Drinker tags River with a flurry of nasty shots to the temple.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 7 of 7 punches, and Samuel River landed 10 of 41 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 30-27


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 4

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

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+River tosses a barrage of blows to the jaw. Drinker covers up.
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-River fires a jab to the nose, but to no avail.
-River launches a volley of blows to the eye, but comes up empty.
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-River launches a barrage of blows to the nose, but he's too slow.
+Drinker grazes River with an elbow! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
+Drinker hits with a series of nasty blows to the jaw.
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-River attacks with a flurry of left blows to the head, but Drinker quickly backs away.
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-River tries a barrage of left blows to the face, but Drinker ducks.
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-River probes with a volley of right blows to the chin, but misses.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 8 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 9 of 37 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 40-36


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 5

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

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-River throws a barrage of shots to the temple, but goes wide.
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-River attacks with a barrage of left punches to the jaw, but Drinker steps aside and laughs.
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-River throws a jab to the nose, but Drinker backs out of it.
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-River throws a series of left shots to the nose, but is ineffective.
+River connects with a flurry of stiff shots to the ribs.
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-River probes with a volley of left punches to the jaw, but falls short.
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+River lands a pair of off balance blows to the nose.
+Drinker hits with a series of stinging blows to the jaw.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 8 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 10 of 37 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 50-45


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has swelling above the left eye.



ROUND 6

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

-River fires a volley of punches to the solar plexus, but Drinker covers himself well.
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+River connects with a light roundhouse to the ribs.
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-River throws a volley of left shots to the temple, but Drinker ducks.
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-River throws a pair of blows to the temple, but Drinker blocks.
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-River probes with a volley of right blows to the mouth, but fails to score.
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-River lunges with a series of punches to the jaw, but Drinker blocks.
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+Drinker scores with a vicious jab to the chin.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 8 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 10 of 40 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 60-54


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has swelling above the left eye. He has a bloody lip.



ROUND 7

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

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-River fires a pair of punches to the head, but goes wide.
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-River tries a series of left blows to the jaw, but Drinker stays away from it.
-River attacks with a right hook to the stomach, but Drinker beats a hasty retreat.
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+River connects with a pair of shots to the temple.
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-River attempts a pair of right punches to the face, but Drinker steps aside and laughs.
-River attempts a flurry of punches to the chin, but Drinker quickly backs away.
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-River throws a pair of shots to the chin, but only hits air.
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+Drinker wakes up the fans with a pair of off balance blows to the chin!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 8 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 8 of 40 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 70-63


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has swelling above the left eye. He has a bloody lip.



ROUND 8

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

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-River attempts a series of left blows to the head, but is ineffective.
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-River attempts a volley of left shots to the chin, but is ineffective.
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-River throws a flurry of punches to the jaw, but Drinker covers himself well.
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-River probes with a cross to the mouth, but Drinker stays away from it.
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-River lashes out with a pair of left punches to the jaw, but Drinker beats a hasty retreat.
-River fires a flurry of blows to the head, but is ineffective.
-River launches a pair of right punches to the face, but fails to score.
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-River probes with a volley of punches to the temple, but misses.
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-River probes with a volley of punches to the face, but goes wide.
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+Drinker scores with a pair of loud blows to the head. River doesn't seem bothered.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 8 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 4 of 42 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 80-72


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has the left eye swollen shut. He has a bloody lip.



ROUND 9

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

-River attacks with a flurry of punches to the face, but misses.
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-River probes with a flurry of right shots to the temple, but he's too slow.
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-River probes with a volley of right punches to the stomach, but fails to score.
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-River lunges with a flurry of left punches to the solar plexus, but flails uselessly.
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-River probes with a volley of blows to the jaw, but Drinker ducks.
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-River attacks with a flurry of right punches to the head, but misses.
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-River probes with a flurry of left shots to the nose, but Drinker quickly backs away.
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+Drinker hurts River with a series of punches to the jaw. River backpedals to his own corner.
-River lashes out with a right hook to the nose, but goes wide.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 8 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 2 of 38 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 90-81


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has the left eye swollen shut. He has a bloody lip.



ROUND 10

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

+Drinker hurts River with a series of powerful shots to the nose.
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-River probes with a series of left blows to the ribs, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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-River tries to land a volley of shots to the eye, but is ineffective.
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-River attempts a barrage of blows to the head, but misses completely.
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-River tries a volley of right blows to the mouth, but falls short.
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-River tries to land a left cross to the eye, but goes wide.
-River launches a series of left shots to the nose, but to no avail.
-River paws a volley of punches to the chin, but comes up empty.
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-River lashes out with a pair of blows to the jaw, but Drinker hides behind his gloves.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 7 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 2 of 43 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 100-90


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has the left eye swollen shut. He has a bloody lip.



ROUND 11

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

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-River charges with a pair of shots to the chest, but Drinker narrowly avoids it
-River lunges with a barrage of left shots to the jaw, but misses completely.
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-River probes with a jab to the head, but falls short.
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-River lashes out with a pair of shots to the temple, but falls short.
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-River tries to land a series of shots to the head, but goes wide.
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+Drinker suprises River with a series of commanding punches to the temple. River seems wobbly!
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-River tries to land a jab to the solar plexus, but misses.
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-River paws a series of right shots to the ribs, but Drinker backs out of it.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 8 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 2 of 42 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 110-99


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has the left eye swollen shut. He has a bloody lip.



ROUND 12

Drinker covers up.
River comes out fighting.

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-River attempts a barrage of shots to the nose, but Drinker ducks just in time.
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-River lashes out with a barrage of right punches to the head, but Drinker leaps aside.
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-River tries to land a pair of punches to the stomach, but he's too slow.
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-River throws a series of right shots to the ribs, but Drinker hides behind his gloves.
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-River attempts a volley of punches to the ribs, but flails uselessly.
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-River probes with a right straight right to the chin, but Drinker narrowly avoids it
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-River attacks with a barrage of right blows to the nose, but Drinker escapes.
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-River attacks with a pair of shots to the nose, but loses his balance.
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+Drinker throws a pair of glancing blows to the eye.
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-River tries a flurry of shots to the solar plexus, but goes wide.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker landed 8 of 8 punches, and Samuel River landed 2 of 41 punches.

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker won the round 10-9

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker is winning the fight 120-108


Drinker doesn't want to stop fighting!

River remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has the left eye swollen shut. He has a bloody lip.




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 2: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 3: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 4: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 5: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 6: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 7: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 8: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 9: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 10: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 11: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 12: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9

Total Score: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 120-108


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 2: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 3: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 4: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 5: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 6: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 7: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 8: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 9: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 10: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 11: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 12: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9

Total Score: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 120-108


George Foreman scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 2: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 3: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 4: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 5: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 6: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 7: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 8: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 9: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 10: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 11: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9
Round 12: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 10-9

Total Score: Pissy Panty Piss Drinker 120-108

Pissy Panty Piss Drinker wins by decision!