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Public Fight Report

(Strawweight) Army of Dorkness 1 defeated Big Boy Part Thirty Three by knockout (KO) in round 5.

Match Monday, February 22, 2016

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 5 inches (135 centimeters) tall weighing in at 106 pounds (48 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 1!!

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 10 inches (147 centimeters) tall weighing in at 102 pounds (46 kilograms) is Big Boy Part Thirty Three!!

The referee for this bout will be Mitch Halpern.

ROUND 1

Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)
Three clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 1 fires Three with an illegal kidney punch! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Three lashes out with a barrage of stiff shots to the eye!! Dorkness 1 hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
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+Dorkness 1 hits with a pair of combinations to the nose.
Dorkness 1 lands a ferocious smash to the jaw and Three's legs turn to jelly -- down he goes!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN
Three struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 1 throws a vicious sweeping right to the temple.
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+Dorkness 1 tags Three with a barrage of shots to the temple!
Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Dorkness 1 slams Three with a pair of punches to the nose. Three sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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+Three connects with a quick right to the face. Dorkness 1 retreats to the far corner.
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+Three attacks with a pair of blows to the chin. Dorkness 1 hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
+Dorkness 1 backs up Three with a flurry of commanding blows to the nose.
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-Dorkness 1 probes with a flurry of left combinations to the mouth, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
+Three pounds Dorkness 1 with a flurry of shots to the chin. Dorkness 1 covers up.
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+Three wallops Dorkness 1 with a flurry of nasty punches to the head.
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+ The fighters swap combinations to the jaw.
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The fighters stop to pull up their trunks.

BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 1 landed 29 of 31 punches, and Big Boy Part Thirty Three landed 24 of 24 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-8

Army of Dorkness 1 is winning the fight 10-8


Dorkness 1 doesn't even want to rest!

Three doesn't even want to rest! He has minor cut below the left eye. He has swelling above the right eye.



ROUND 2

Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)
Three clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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+Three connects with a series of off balance blows to the ribs.
+Three fires a volley of blows to the chest.
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+Three lands a volley of mean blows to the solar plexus.
+Dorkness 1 hits Three with a flurry of combinations to the temple.
+Three whacks Dorkness 1 with a hook to the ribs.
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+Dorkness 1 lands a barrage of combinations to the nose!
+Dorkness 1 hits with a barrage of combinations to the mouth!
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+Dorkness 1 staggers Three with a flurry of strong punches to the eye.
Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Three fires a volley of blows to the ribs.
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+Three tags Dorkness 1 with a series of blows to the chest.
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Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 1 pops Three with a flurry of combinations to the nose.
Dorkness 1 lands a mighty left blow to the temple and Three is flattened!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE
Three struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
+Dorkness 1 punches Three with a flurry of nice combinations to the chin. Three seems wobbly!
Dorkness 1 lands a terrific uppercut and Three lands flat on his back!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT
Three struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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+ The fighters trade punches to the temple.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 1 landed 32 of 34 punches, and Big Boy Part Thirty Three landed 22 of 23 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-7

Army of Dorkness 1 is winning the fight 20-15


Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has cut below the left eye.

Three remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has minor cut below the left eye. He has the right eye swollen shut. He has a bloody nose.



ROUND 3

Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)
Three clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Dorkness 1 clocks Three with a volley of furious combinations to the chest. Three shakes his head to clear it.
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Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Three whacks Dorkness 1 with a heavy uppercut to the solar plexus. Dorkness 1 grimaces in pain.
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+Dorkness 1 slams Three with a series of stiff combinations to the ribs. Three ignores it.
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+Three hits with a volley of blows to the chest. Dorkness 1 hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
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-Three tries a left hook to the stomach, but Dorkness 1 covers himself well.
Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Dorkness 1 shakes Three with a barrage of heavy shots to the stomach.
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+Three smacks Dorkness 1 with a wild uppercut to the ribs. Dorkness 1 backpedals to his own corner.
+Dorkness 1 tattoos Three with a barrage of punches to the stomach. Three gets mad!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 1 landed 21 of 26 punches, and Big Boy Part Thirty Three landed 17 of 23 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 1 is winning the fight 30-24


Dorkness 1 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has cut below the left eye.

Three grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool. He has minor cut below the left eye. He has the right eye swollen shut. He has a bloody nose.



ROUND 4

Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)
Three clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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+Three throws a barrage of solid blows to the chest.
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+Dorkness 1 jolts Three with a jab to the ribs.
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+Dorkness 1 takes charge with a nasty sweeping right to the chest.
-Three probes with a volley of left combinations to the stomach, but comes up empty.
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+Dorkness 1 attacks with a barrage of stinging shots to the chest.
Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Three pounds Dorkness 1 with a series of solid punches to the ribs!
+Three drills Dorkness 1 with a flurry of stinging combinations to the solar plexus.
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Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Dorkness 1 tags Three with a pair of mean combinations to the ribs.
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Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 1 tries to attack, but Three hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 1 hits with a nasty jab to the chest!
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+Dorkness 1 lands a flurry of mean combinations to the chest.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 1 landed 28 of 34 punches, and Big Boy Part Thirty Three landed 15 of 24 punches.

Army of Dorkness 1 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 1 is winning the fight 40-33


Dorkness 1 grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool. He has cut below the left eye.

Three is obviously tired. He has minor cut below the left eye. He has the right eye swollen shut. He has a fractured nose.



ROUND 5

Dorkness 1 tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)
Three clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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+Three grazes Dorkness 1 with a flurry of heavy blows to the solar plexus. Dorkness 1 backpedals to his own corner.
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+Dorkness 1 staggers Three with a furious jab to the eye.
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+Dorkness 1 slams Three with a flurry of wild punches to the mouth.
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+Dorkness 1 grazes Three with a pair of glancing punches to the jaw.
+Dorkness 1 nails Three with a series of off balance combinations to the chin.
Dorkness 1 lands a brutal left cross to the jaw and Three is knocked out of the ring!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN
He's Out!
Army of Dorkness 1 wins by a Knock Out!!

BELL
Dorkness 1 grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool. He has cut below the left eye.

Three is slowing down. He has minor cut below the left eye. He has the right eye swollen shut. He has the left eye swollen shut. He has a fractured nose.

The doctor won't let Big Boy Part Thirty Three continue the fight! Army of Dorkness 1 wins by TKO!!





Judge Guimond had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 1 10-8
Round 2: Army of Dorkness 1 10-7
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9


Judge Leinbach had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 1 10-8
Round 2: Army of Dorkness 1 10-7
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9


Sean O'Grady had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 1 10-8
Round 2: Army of Dorkness 1 10-7
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 1 10-9

Army of Dorkness 1 wins by a knockout!